Letter to God O Great Creator of all that is, seen and unseen, you in your infinite wisdom allowed me to be raised by parents who were bigoted, harsh, selfish and uncharitable and who taught me the same. I numbed my gentler senses, leaving the tender parts of my heart buried under the debris of rage and greed, seeking only self-satisfaction. I stayed out late with fellow revelers, drinking and carousing, trying to disregard that part of my soul which yearned for the “True Love” that it had not yet felt even after a decade and a half of marriage. I tried to strike bargains with you by laboring to do good deeds, worshiping you in the small self-aggrandizing way that made me powerful by my association to the Grantor of Salvation. When I realized how that kind of belief minimized you it was easy for me to choose to discard you, to deny you, to try to ignore you. Then I met Kris, whose own childhood had left her scarred and imperfect too, yet the weaknesses she owned fit into my strengths and mine fit hers. Together our complex imperfections joined together to make each of us more complete. She made me want to be a better person and with that desire came a completely new way of seeing you. No longer the God of wrath, jealousy and judgment I encountered with going-to-church. The gift of her unconditional love began to prepare me to see you in a radically different light. She has helped expose you as the God of Love, one to be worshiped instead of feared. It isn’t you who leaves millions of children starving, drinking filthy water, dying in jungles and forests. It is not you who ignores the lonely and dying from disease and old age. It is not you who harbors wealth only for personal gain as if the amount of treasure one amasses in any way describes the quality of life that has been lived. That was me. And now because the angel I call Kris has been in my life I can do what small things you still allow me to do, to serve you and try to reflect the love that she has taught me that comes from you. Thank you – Amen.
Posted on: Sat, 21 Sep 2013 20:44:06 +0000
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