Let’s piss off everyone. Snow in the forecast and the TV weather woman said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance, with a face like that! Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. However, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I have found that a bacon sandwich works best! Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed. I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I am going to take that. Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I? The farmer looks back up and shouts back. Youre in a basket you dumb shit! I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question, which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair. Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country? I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. I love this LMAO
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 20:27:10 +0000
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