Life’s dependent world, it’s all too easy to think on most days, I kept a running mental tally of all the ways I messed up—all the dumb things I said, the stupid ideas I suggested, and the inevitably unsuccessful attempts I made to make people like me. How could they like me when sometime I wasn’t willing to lead the way? I tell you this not as an after picture, but as someone like me that have lived this past decade taking two steps forward and one step back. For my willingness to give you this honesty, I am proud of myself. See some people are more apt to share their struggles once they feel like they’re on the other side. It’s a lot less scary so say “This is who I used to be” than “This is what I struggle with sometimes. But this is my truth, and I give it to you, wholeheartedly and uncensored. On a primal level, I really want to be loved and accepted, but I learn a little more every day that my own self respect is the foundation of lasting joy. I know that I am not so different from most people. Who want people to understand them, and at the end of it all to love them anyway. I think we all want to know it’s perfectly OK—and maybe even wonderful—to be exactly who we are. Of course, that has to start with us. People can only love you if they feel that you are lovable. You may not fully believe it if you are constantly compensate for who you are with apologies, hedging words, or clarifications for your actions—like you always owe other people explanations; beat yourself up when you make even the slightest mistake; think about your flaws and feel overwhelming disgust or anger; cling to people who see the best in you and find it hard to maintain those positive feelings when they walk away; tell yourself that you’re being selfish whenever you consider meeting your own needs; repeatedly do self-destructive things, or make choices that show you don’t respect or value yourself; don’t consider your needs a priority and always find a reason to talk yourself out of your dreams as if perhaps you don’t deserve to have them. Some of us have done every last one of these things at some point. I suspect we all have. Sometimes it’s challenging to love ourselves—particularly in a world where change generates a substantial amount of revenue. There are always going to be products and ideas for us to get better; and it’s a beautiful thing to embrace life-long growth. Life is transformation; staying static is a kind of death. But it’s important that we all realize we are beautiful and wonderful just as we are—light and dark, in our complete authentic selves. Our past actions shaped today. But we are not what we’ve been. We don’t need to carry around labels or mistakes from yesterday as if they define us. Whatever you’ve done, it’s over. It doesn’t have to brand you, particularly not if you’re making the conscious choice to do things differently now. We can judge ourselves by the weakest moments or the strongest—that’s our choice. Choose to focus on the strongest, and then leverage that pride for more of those moments. Every time you feel good about what you do it’s one more reminder to love who you are.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 01:30:45 +0000
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