Living the Role of the Elder Son: The Church’s Biggest Obstacle to Evangelism? by Rev. Brenda Newman Luke 15: 11-13, 17-28 11 Then Jesus[b] said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. …17 But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”’ 20 So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21 Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[d] 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.25 “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27 He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28 Then he became angry and refused to go in…”(NRSV) I confess that, at times, I have been afflicted with the diseases of the ‘elder son.’ I have been afflicted with the disease of forgetfulness. I have come down with a bad case of resentment. I have been plagued with a chronic case of hard-heartedness. This parable from Luke 15 is best known as ‘The Prodigal Son’, though I have often agreed with scholars who title it ‘The Loving Father.’ For the purpose of this writing, I introduce it as the ‘Parable of the Elder Son.’ The elder son struggled with attitudes that contribute directly to the mainline church’s current decline. The elder son did not know how to minister to or love his prodigal brother. It challenged him on every level. He had played by the rules. He had been faithful. He had gone to church every Sunday and lived a moral life. He desired his reward. He had earned it. He wanted the position of favored son. He was more likely to judge than embrace the reckless. He was not driven to make sacrifices or accommodate to one who had been less faithful. All sin aside, we can place the elder son in a better light, and say that he could not reconcile the call to holiness with an embrace of one so un-holy. Karen Swallow Prior writes, “It strains our human frailty to hate rebellion, squandering, and wantonness-prodigality- and yet be able to embrace one so wasteful.” (Prodigal Love, Christianity Today, September 2013.) In a society where less than twenty percent of the population attend church regularly, the church has a lot of prodigals to embrace. Paul Nickerson of Griffith Coaching notes that 150,000 are walking away from church every week. According to a 2011 study in the Journal of Religion and Society, at some point in their lives, one of every three Americans will leave Christianity. The mission field is huge. The church’s motivation appears lacking.Our diseases include at least the three fore-named; forgetfulness, resentment, and hard-heartedness. Most of us have our own humorous stories about forgetfulness, and it is not required that one has entered the ‘senior years.’ When I was a much younger mother, my memory is all too clear of a harrowing grocery shopping experience with our then two and four year old sons. Exhausted and exasperated I buckled them in their car seats, heaved a huge sigh, and headed home. When we pulled in the driveway, our four-year-old asked, “Mommy, why did you leave the food in the parking lot?” In Deuteronomy 8:10-11, 17-18, we read “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws, and his decrees that I am giving you this day….You may say to yourself, ‘My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.’ But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth…” (NIV) The elder son forgot that all he had was from the Father. When we forget that we are utterly dependent upon God alone for everything we have, we begin to worship ourselves. We start to consider ourselves ‘self-made.’ Gratitude goes by the wayside. Pride balloons. We look down on our neighbor. The elder son forgot that all he had was from the father. More significantly, he missed the extravagant love the Father was continually pouring out for him. The Father was not loving him less by embracing the younger son who had been lost. God does not love the long-time faithful churchgoer less when God embraces the newcomer. The elder son was resentful of the excitement and lavish love being offered to his younger brother. Put simply, resentment is a feeling of indignation, and this indignation will affect all future interactions with those involved. Its cure is forgiveness. The elder son resented his brother and his father. The father was ready to forgive, more than ready to forgive the prodigal. The older brother offered no forgiveness to his younger sibling and was resentful of the father’s graciousness. In Dr. Gary Royals’ presentation at Charge Conferences, he made a clear distinction between the Membership Model of Ministry and the Discipleship Model of Ministry. In the membership model, the client is the members of the church, and the purpose is to keep the members happy. In the discipleship model, the client is the mission field around the church, and the purpose is to equip and utilize the members as resources to reach people for Christ. The most important thing is transforming lives through Christ. The elder son operated under the membership model. He was more interested in his personal needs being met than his own brother being transformed. If we, those of us in the church, are resentful of the time our pastors spend with the un-churched out in the community, we will continue to shrink in numbers and witness. If we, those of us in the church, are resentful of the time our pastors spend with the broken, disillusioned, and hurting outside of our churches, we will continue to decline. If we, those of us in the church, are more interested in our own needs being met than answering God’s call to meet the needs of others, we will grow in hardness of heart. The scripture tells us that the older brother“...became angry and refused to go in.” He was bitter and closed. The elder son’s hard-heartedness towards his brother is only outmatched by the father’s extravagant love. The message for the church is that we are called to extend that warm embrace. We are called to put the other first, to demonstrate extravagant love. Clergy and laity are called to walk beside each other out into the mission field. The reminder for the church is that when we open our hearts to the lost, we are being the church. And finally, when we open our hearts to the lost, we are only sharing the grace and extravagant love the Father first offered to us. We, the church, are the roadblocks to the ‘lost’ coming home when we cross our arms rather than open them. There are people raised in the church who were hurt. There are people who have no experience with church and do not know one single soul they can ask to pray for them. There are broken, lonely, disillusioned souls longing for hope and forgiveness and a new start. They might just miss the Father’s open arms because our own arms are crossed. We can post the motto “Open Minds, Open Hearts, Open Doors”. Will we live it?
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 17:52:06 +0000
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