Love: A perspective Samir Abed-Rabbo Love is one of the most rewarding and trying aspect of human relations. Humans have been searching for and attempting at perfecting true love ever since humans sat foot on earth. Love stories are amble in all cultures and languages. Some end miraculously beautiful and others with tragedies. History teaches us that love plays weird tricks on those who are involved. Though at times all signs are on the wall for all to see, a person in love tends to ignore them and go on to paint a rosy or a gloomy picture of love depending on what state of mind that person is in at any given time. Is this contradiction the result of he/she not knowing how to read or not seeing the signs on the wall or is it because he/she believes that love is, as in all human skills, an acquired one? Love is an acquired skill that is based on expectations and experiences. Both human expectations and experiences are not exact science and cannot be replicated and verified in a controlled environment or in a laboratory setting. Both are based on real circumstances that a person goes through in life either alone or with others. It is normal for an individual to fix expectations for himself/herself and to set a course of action for accomplishing them. This course of action leads to gained experiences and to whither expectations are realized, missed, ignored, evaluated, or reevaluated. Expectations are theoretical in nature and consist of a wish list that the individual desires to achieve at a given point of time. Expectations are not static in nature and keep changing. The fluidity of expectations is due to many factors mainly a person’s general understanding of prevailing cultural and socio-economic conditions and circumstances, and the interactions with others and the experiences gained as a result of these interactions. Not all expectations and experiences are the same. Obviously various people have different expectations and experiences and those are, though may seem to some to be the same, decidedly different from one person to the other. A person might expect love to maintain tranquility, peace, continued harmony, intellectual growth, emotional fulfillment and/or compensation, and enjoyment. Others might expect income security and other material gains, procreation, and fulfillment of bodily desires. Others might seek love through looks, status, wealth, age, religion, culture, family relations, etc. (or a combination thereof). These and other factors may predetermine the outcome of love. Pre determining the outcome of love is short-circuiting the natural process that is prerequisite to understand and achieve the expectations and experiences of love. In order for a human to attain and to be in love, one must experience love and go through life’s experiences that will familiarize, teach, equip, effect, lead, and harden a person’s perspective and conviction about love. What triggers love in a person and set him/her on the journey of love is different from one person to the other. But it seems that human are wired to love and to be emotionally attracted and involved with each other. The degree of attraction and involvement is usually determined by those involved and its intensity is subject to change. The growth, development, and maintenance of love can be effected by outside forces and factors such as family, friends, culture, and socio-economic conditions. Developing an understanding of love and going through the practical experiences are essential to the development of proper ways to attain ultimate love. Speaking of ultimate love, one must take into consideration that ultimate love as all else is relative. It is defined and understood differently by different people. In fact I venture to say that love is understood in the same manner as beauty: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In knowing all of this, we are left with one question: is there something real called the ultimate love and what is the formula to achieve it? The simple answer: the writings on the wall say that humans have not perfected the right recipe to achieve the ultimate love. Does this mean that humans must stop their pursuit of the ultimate love? The answer is unequivocal NO! But the wealth of human experiences on love teaches us that in order for the promise of love to be fulfilled, a person ought to be committed to his/her ideals of love, dedicated to invest the required emotional energy in love, to be forever willing to give love his/her best, and to be exclusively devoted to whom he/she is involved with in love. Unless abuse or fraud is detected, those involved in love must recognize that, once they embarked on the journey of love, the path is long, demanding, and is one way street with no U-turns or returns. In love, there is plenty of room to share, grow, change, compromise, and companionship. If those involved maintain a health outlook, the promise of love is rewarding and indescribably elating. Those embarked on love must be aware of and reject the amble littering on the road that threatens to derail this worthwhile journey. The focus should always be on the prize, love. Above all, the persons involved must realize and recognize that love relationships, as in the case of people themselves, are ever changing. Change requires continued care, attention, adjustments, loyalty, and devotion- the essence of a successful relationship.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 12:04:58 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015