Love is a credit card. The emotional terms of a relationship closely mirror that of credit cards. Such realizations can perhaps be a short cut to higher relationship skills and their need of positive long term outcomes. When we fall in love, we get an introductory rate: We are offered a line of emotional credit from our lover. (ie:high vales in respect, trust, affection, ect) We can charge (ie: make relationship mistakes) like theres no tomorrow as limit seem miles away. Issues are accepted and forgiven instantly in relationships when early love really shines. Most only get 1-3 times of this, 18 months to 2 years period, in a lifetime, after that early love is more love, but business and functional. (ie: we outgrow Prince Charmings and fairy tale romances after awhile) Those who purposely exploit love do this get all the value and then leave, to play again elsewhere. (ie: 2 years then leave regardless who it hurts) So these people are like criminal bankers. Polished thieves basically. But most desire a future of stable rates of charges and payments. Hope/Love says you can do it. The Post glow phase,(ie: 3rd+ year) ends the introductory period, realized of not, as special terms stop. The freebies are gone and they are either replaced by a fair mutual reciprocation, or one of more partner acting/thing like that can still act like its the introductory phase. (ie: irresponsible, at this point) So now every charge to the card is counted in full. Lets the main emotional transactions begin! Charges: Rude to you in front of friends? cha ching. Said your stupid in a fight? cha ching Poor hygiene, socks everywhere? cha ching Shouted or was mean? cha ching So these are the fresh charges in the 3rd year. Lets see the partners payments... Apologized about friends - Payment Better hygiene, socks in hamper - Payment Said sorry for shouting - Payment Bought flowers, chocolate, bear and balloon in romance/or /apology - Payment So in this example, one person with a emotional credit card had fared pretty well. If at charging partner marks payments as received that is. Nothing must linger of you are self failing the relationship. Just paying back what you owe is supposed to be common sense in financial terms. Seemingly , few in love, realize all emotional debts, must as be paid off as well. Among some guys this where the term, make it up to her comes from, but Ive only heard men say this a few times in my life. Suggesting emotional debts are required payments (ie: emotional responsibly) is not widely realized. Many relationships end in the 3-5 year period as a mutual balance of charges & payments is not realized. A woman has NEVER said, you need to do more good things for me to me. However they have become silent and stacked frustration as payments werent fast enough to counter fresh, or lingering charges. One can say men should just realize and fix it and this is true, but equally, women should just be more clear/open is the other half of the coin. I say both, should be fixed. As instead, blame replaces reason, communication, and compromise in one or both partners. And additional charges occur. For longer term success, we all need to keep up with charges against the cards, with fresh payments with consistent payments. Can you imagine him saying Honey what have I done that bothered you this month? (ie self responsibility...) Hes asking for an account balance basically. Smarter women will be tactful, but very open and clear. So he can pay off any debts. So relationships that can advance to monthly, weekly or some other healthy interval of emotional accounting are the ones that last longer. As the charges dont stack up vs. the payments. In case you havent realize both partner get these emotional credit cards. And either partner or both can have issues. All issues must be resolved for positive outcomes. This is why I speak of reciprocation as I do. Fairness in emotional matters fixes both the above (ie: he should../she should...) problems. It means once a partner openly admits a charge, the other partner accepts it as a debt and offers payments. Preferable immediately to ovoid interest charges (ie stacking frustration.) So partners dont stop at non realization or oh I hurt your feeling. If one can openly say there is an honest charge then the other is required *by love obviously, but by reciprocation too) So reciprocation is like an emotional financial plan to keep things from spiraling out of control over time, though typical unawareness. Its not on paper, but your hearts will know the account balance at all times. Just consider your concerns always addressed fast in a relationship. Instead of being frustrated for months, issues could last as long as a 15 minuet oil change. No arguments, just compromise based transactions. No hurt victim/hurt feelings, just the realization of periodic charges and responsible payments on time. I say love is such a grand investment, that it is worth protecting with every tool in the box. We all knows what happens if love is just taken for granted... Thank your reading, and as always, make payments on time. :)
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 00:08:52 +0000