Love seems to be the issue for most people these days. Just a few hours ago, I had a phone conversation with one of my friends who has missing limbs. I could not stop thinking about our conversation, so I called him back to ask him permission to quote some of his words and write the post below. Like most people I know, my friend is worried that he will never find the love of his life because of his limb difference. His reason being that he was dumped by his first girlfriend because of his limb difference just a few months after they had been talking about marriage. He recited the girl’s exact words, “I’ve taken time to think about it, and I don’t think a man with no arms can be a husband to me.” Wait a second, what??? No arms=can’t be husband? Let’s not judge this girl harshly though because there are many other ignorant people like her who think a missing limb equals unable to get anything done After my friend shared this with me, he asked a very powerful question, he said, “Claudine, if someone came to you [in this case someone I loved] and told you that you could never be a woman because of your leg, what would you do?” I knew exactly what he was feeling as I had been in this kind of situation before. I definitely know how much it hurts when someone tells you that your difference will never get you anywhere. You feel like you don’t fit in this world. You absolutely feel powerless and useless. Imagine that feeling. I simply replied to my friend and said that I would continue to live my life because I know that the problem is not with me but that very person who can see nothing but the missing limb. Because I know what I am capable of and ‘not fit to be anything or anyone’ does not describe me. Don’t let her words direct your life. She is ignorant and obviously needs some education. Just know that she was not meant for you because a person who were meant for you, a person who truly loved you would also be able to look past your missing limbs. Our conversation went on, and my friend kept going on about how this girl broke him and left him with so much despair. How he thinks he has to work so hard searching for the right girl, but has no hope of ever finding that one girl who gets him. This is what I told him: First of all, you cannot force anyone to love you. Love comes and goes, and when it’s meant to stay, it sticks with you. You will find your love when the right time comes, and at that right time, you won’t even have to search because the two of you will be together. You don’t choose who you love or when to love them, so don’t stress yourself out about searching for the one because there is a reason the kind of love you want is not with you yet. It’s just not the right time. People everywhere want love, even the people who seem perfect in your definition (in mine everyone is beautiful) and you will look at them and think that they have it all, but the truth is, they are also waiting for the right moment, and like you they think love is not coming soon enough. First of all, you got nothing to worry about. Love will come to you at the right time. Take sometime to appreciate the things you have now, the rest of the people in your life, and stop wasting time searching for the right person. The person you are looking for could even be right by your side and you could notice her soon enough if you actually took time to look by your side. But because you are spending too much time looking elsewhere you pass her all the time. I dont have much experience with romance, but with the little experience I have, I know for sure that you dont choose who you love, and however FLAWED you think you are, YOU ARE NOT! There is no perfect or imperfect person, we are all the way we were meant to be, and we will find the person who appreciates us, the whole of us, just the way we are. Some people wait for what seems to be a lifetime, others wait for just a few years, and some people grow impatient. We are all human beings after all. The truth is, you will most likely get more people who will comment on your arms like that girl did. Don’t let any of these people’s words define who you are or who you want to become. To my fellow people with limb differences, don’t EVER let anyone tell you that you cannot be who you want to be. YOU are the only one who can lead your future, your life, your dreams the way you want. YOU ARE POWERFUL! We are all powerful. As one of my inspirations and friend, Jothy Rosenberg puts it, “who says you can’t?” Yeah, who the hell says you can’t? And why should you listen to them? Live your life, because remember, it’s YOUR life! Honey, if the man or woman you want doesn’t look at you because of your limb difference, it’s their problem. Move on! Live your life! Because let’s face it, if you don’t live your life while you can, who’s going to live it for you? Negative comments should never stop anyones life. EVER! Limb difference or not, what would you do if you were in my friend’s situation? Hopefully this post will help bring some sense into people who have a mind like my friend’s X.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 14:10:08 +0000
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