MADEAs RULES FOR THANKSGIVING 1. PRINT AND GIVE TO ALL YOUR GUESTS COMING FOR THANKSGIVING!! 2. Dont get in line asking questions about the food. Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you wont be able to eat anything. 3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little asses to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my damn house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until its time for someone to start telling family stories about their mammas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses! 4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for the next 3 days 5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you dont, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year! 6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Dont let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didnt bring anything over, dont let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding. 7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesnt belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!! 8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 2 hours, I will call CPS on your ignorant ass!! 9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED THE HELL OUT AT 6:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 07:19:16 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015