MARRIAGE ADVICE Two friends happily came to me today telling me they were getting married so I thought I would share with you all what I said to them. I had them sit for a minute and I looked firmly into their eyes and said: “There are three things about marriage that you must always remember. First, that marriage is impermanent. Know this, that this your marriage will end for one reason or another. Whether through death or divorce, your marriage will end. I tell you this so that no matter how it ends, you knew your marriage would end and thus you will suffer less. Second, you both need to know that all things change. You are going to change and she is going to change. She will get more independent and he will put on a pound or two. She might find interest in a new hobby and he might watch more football. All things change. Your bodies will change and your thinking will change. I tell you both this so that when you wake up and notice that you both are no long 23 years old and have changed, neither of you will not be surprised. You both will smile and say to each other that you knew it was going to happen all the time; you will not be shocked and will suffer less. The third thing you both need to know is that marriage does not arise or continue on its own…a piece of paper is not a marriage. Your marriage will only continue equal to the amount of effort each of you put into it. So don’t you look at her to do it all and don’t you look at him to do it all either. If you really want this marriage to work then you both must become one. Her desires must become his and his desires must become her. You both must become one together because divided you both will argue and walk different directions. You both must work at it one hundred per center. I tell you this so that when you start thinking there is no marriage you know what to do and to reduce your suffering. Marriage is impermanent so treat each other each day as if it is the last day your together. Marriage is change so laugh at every change. Marriage continues so long as you work at it, so work overtime every day. No one is the boss – you’re both partners in this adventure, so always walk side-by-side. I give you my best wishes. And with that my friends departed hand in hand.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 00:38:34 +0000
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