‘MARRIAGE MANTRAS.’ Completed 34 and still counting. On a similar rainy day in 1980 on same date had gone and got married withoumuch fuss. The registrar who signed the certificate did not recite statutory warning which I believe he should engrave in his office. ‘This certificate is not a piece of document only, It’s a commitment to each other and you are not allowed to break the relation except on the ground of abuse’. 34 years is long period, Maybe many of my friends may not have been born then but today they are married, about to get married. Marriage as an institution has been well maintained in our country, let aside few instances of ‘Live Ins’. It is that laddoo ,jo khaye wo pachhtaye, na khaye wo bhi.’ For any marriage to last this long certain tenets are required to be followed. You will find that our generation or generation of your parents has seen maximum success rate of marriage longetivity. Maybe it is like in jobs we had ,we were married to the job as there were no much options outside or after sometime you get too comfortable in any situation to want a change. This scenario remained till people born upto late 1970 s ,early 1980s.Then it changed somewhat. With more openness, more liberty, less taboos, more opportunities marriage as a ‘life long relationship’ came under scanner to ‘marriage as a convenient arrangement till it lasts’. I really don’t think core values have changed over time. But more need for freedom, space constraint, need for individual space ,clash of old and new opinions has caused the joint family tradition to be on wane. Me, my wife , my children is a new mantra. Nothing much wrong with it .So there was a need to give sufficient space for newly married couples .where this was recognized without any melodrama of so called neglect of parents and parents in laws by living separately, the career woman of today is freed from being under constant scrutiny of in laws, rituals, traditions. Marriages got time to get settled in the initial hiccups of adjustment between husband and wife. Every marriage has got certain triggers like birth of a child, its education, graduation and eventual marriage of the child which reinforces the marriage .Having grandchildren, loving them is icing on the cake which further enhances the beauty of marriage. Our journey together is full of ups and downs like any other marriage and whatever you may say ,wives play a major role in cementing the ties. She is that glue which binds families together.I will not be dramatic today to have my thanksgiving day to wife for all she has done but it is a journey Together. In any marriage both have to contribute for success of it, husband needs to stand by his wife unequivocally, whether she is right or wrong and vice versa. That feeling that at least one person is always with you enables the marriage ship sail smoothly. There is nothing that cannot be solved by communication but when it stops then there is trouble in paradise. Mutual respect is the key and then things fall in place. There cannot be any marriage where husband and wife don’t differ, don’t fight on petty issues. But when you know that there is ‘inner love’, things get sorted out and you learn to gloss over small glitches to take in larger picture, our life together hereto and here after. Got many wishes for anniversary from daughter, son , daughter in law, sister, brother, other relatives but as I write this I realize we have not yet wished each other. In real marriage you take each other so granted, in a good way.:) Cheers to us.’
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 07:20:39 +0000
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