#MARRIAGE: Possession and Purity Jimmy Evans writes, this may just what your marriage need for a great change: When God created marriage, He created it to flourish when bound by two laws: the law of possession and the law of purity. Marriage is about sharing. You share kids, a checkbook, a house, and the intimate details of your life. The Bible refers to this kind of sharing as becoming one flesh (Gen. 2:24-25). This is the law of possession. Once you become a married couple, all those things that you owned individually get blended. Jealousy results when you refuse to give full ownership of something to your spouse. This violates the law of possession, and brings problems into your marriage. One way people violate the law of possession is through dominance. This happens through intimidation, manipulation, or even a personality style. Dominance means taking control of something: your money, kids, house, or schedule. Its always destructive. Studies have shown that dominance leads to diminished marital satisfaction, because one spouse doesnt feel equal to the other. Karen can attest to this, as one of the main problems we experienced early in marriage was my dominance. Another violation of the law of possession is independence—when one spouse decides he or she is just going to do their own thing. Its basic selfishness, which can be a marriage killer. A selfish person is better off staying single. A third violation of the law of possession is protection. It appears when one parent tries to protect her kids from a new spouse in a blended family. It appears when one spouse tries to protect certain bank accounts or funds. These actions go against the spirit of a healthy marriage. Re-establish the law of possession in your marriage by asking your spouses input on every decision. The two of you may be different, but you have to become partners. Your relationship is more important than certain issues like discipline or finances. Another major law concerning marriage is Gods law of purity: The man and his wife were both naked and unashamed (Gen. 2:25). In a pure marriage, you can both expose your differences and talk about sensitive areas without a problem. But when sin enters your marriage, you stop being able to trust each other. Like Adam and Eve, you begin to hide your differences and sensitivities. Being naked and unashamed with each other means you can talk about any aspect of yourself—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically—without shame. You are your spouses safe place, and vice versa. That means speaking to each other with kindness and respect. It means removing sarcasm and criticism from your conversations. A marriage marked by purity means you are careful with the way you treat one another. You are honest with one another. You are sensitive to one another. And you take responsibility with your mistakes. Follow Gods laws of possession and purity, and youll discover the marriage of your dreams.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 17:34:28 +0000
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