MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS … “ When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you . She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes . Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth . But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce . I raised the topic calmly . She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly , why? I avoided her question . This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me , you are not a man! That night , we didn ’t talk to each other . She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage . But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer ; she had lost my heart to Jane . I didn ’t love her anymore . I just pitied her ! With a deep sense of guilt , I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car , and 30% stake of my company . She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger . I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly . Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see . To me her cry was actually a kind of release . The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day , I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table . I didn’ t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane . When I woke up , she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me , but needed a month ’s notice before the divorce . She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible . Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’ s time and she didn ’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage . This was agreeable to me. But she had something more , she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day . She requested that every day for the month ’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning . I thought she was going crazy . Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’ s divorce conditions . . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd . No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce , she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn ’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day , we both appeared clumsy . Our son clapped behind us , daddy is holding mommy in his arms . His words brought me a sense of pain . From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms . She closed her eyes and said softly ; don’ t tell our son about the divorce . I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door . She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office . On the second day , both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest . I could smell the fragrance of her blouse . I realized that I hadn ’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more . There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her . For a minute I wondered what I had done to her . On the fourth day , when I lifted her up , I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me . On the fifth and sixth day , I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn ’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger . She was choosing what to wear one morning . She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me … she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart . Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head . Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it ’s time to carry mom out . To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute . I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom , through the sitting room , to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally . I held her body tightly ; it was just like our wedding day . But her much lighter weight made me sad . On the last day , when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school . I held her tightly and said, I hadn ’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy . I drove to office … . jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door . I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind … I walked upstairs . Jane opened the door and I said to her , Sorry , Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore . She looked at me , astonished, and then touched my forehead . Do you have a fever ? She said . I moved her hand off my head . Sorry , Jane , I said, I won’ t divorce . My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives , not because we didn ’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart . Jane seemed to suddenly wake up . She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears . I walked downstairs and drove away . At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife . The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart . That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead . My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice . She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son , in case we push through with the divorce .— At least, in the eyes of our son — - I ’m a loving husband … . The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship . It is not the mansion, the car , property , the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse ’ s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you . If you do, you just might save a marriage . Many of life’ s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up . Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything . Love never perishes , even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it , even if it is completely ground up, similarly the basis of love is the soul , and it is indestructible and therefore eternal . Beauty can be destroyed , but not love.
Posted on: Sun, 18 Aug 2013 16:58:27 +0000
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