MY BIGGEST SIN It’s hard to begin. Don’t actually know where to start. As I am not a story teller, so as to begin, I’m just a regular boy born and brought up in a Christian family Christian family and I loved it. Back in my days, I was a regular Church goer, and still remember that I hardly missed a Sunday school, attending Bible Study Classes regularly on a Friday evening, performing a special number on some Christmas or Good Friday service. But I’m always curious and just want to know everything more. I just wanted to know the Bible a lot more and start buying and ordering bible reference books. It’s really hard getting good books back then, in the early 2000’s. It was in those years that I bought the ‘King James Bible’, one my favourite Bible till date. The Bible does have different Versions just in case you don’t have a clue. I just wanted to read and know more. I started reading books and Holy Scriptures of most religion; I read those scriptures and found out that all of them were really good and interesting and I’m very proud that at least I have briefly read them. It’s great when you learnt the good things about life. As years went by, I have learnt a lot, still wanted to learnt some more because I’m curious. To be précised I started discovering facts and fictions, and my mind think beyond the prison walls. My messed-up-curious mind wonders a lot, thoughts crawling to my head. I am asking myself several questions, prayed to God, still cannot find any answers. Most of my questions and thoughts have no solutions or answers. If you are reading this, wondering what those questions are, just to name a few (I have no intentions offending anyone), some of those are, Does God Even Exist?, If He does, Is he a Racist God when He choose the Jews as his Favourites?. If He loves us, what is Hell all about when He forgives unconditionally? And the list goes on and on. All these things that I have gone through right from birth till this point of time made me the person I am today. I stop going to Church, and it’s almost Five years. I doubt to believe in the existence of the Almighty God, and that is ‘My Biggest Sin’ that I consider and it’s 30 years in the making. If there is anything that is responsible for making me the person I am today, it’s my curiosity, the books that I have read, my weird thoughts and imaginations or maybe I have lost in my own wilderness of thoughts, dreams and nightmares. Committing My Biggest Sin has a heavy price to pay especially when living in a Christian state, surrounded by Christians, and people I know are mostly all Christians and I love and respect them because they were once my brothers and sisters. Yes once my brothers and sisters before I realised that they are just dramatic and fake Christians that keep on pointing their fingers at me and everyone else, from time to time. Let me clarify this once and for all: You and I are no difference, we live, we inter-act, and we see and meet each other when walking up or down the road. WE are that unique creation of your Almighty God and each and every one of us is special in each and every way because we exist here on Earth for a reason. If you really believe that God is real, respect what He creates. I just don’t want to push myself treating you the same way you treat me. WE have a soul, a body and a mind and l have enough courage to admit that I have learnt to love and to respect you. Now a days I don’t really know what religion I follow, but deep inside I know the Good and the Evil and to the best of my abilities I choose love, joy, empathy, hope, kindness, truth and humility rather than anger, greed, jealousy, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. But it’s really hard choosing the good ones no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes, I go for the Evil one and I think that it’s perfectly natural. I’m not sure if I am happy or sad the way I am at this point of time. I’m sure I have lost somewhere along my path, lost a few friends and loved ones. I have made many mistakes in life just like this note that is full of grammatical errors and mistakes. I need Help, I need Answers. I need someone reading this, be kind enough to help me find the answer. Your thoughts and opinions will always find a place in my treasure box. Here are few of my questions that I’ll always want to know for the last decay. ▷ What if God truly exist? ▷ What if I am lost in the middle of nowhere? ▷ What if everything I believe makes no sense? ▷ Why do people accuse me of being a devil worshipper? Is it just because I always wear black and listen to Heavy Metal Music? When I do know what the colour black represents, and the lyrical theme of the music that I am listening to. ▷ When I consider Christ as one of the greatest teacher and follow His teachings, and just because I doubt to believe in Him as a God, what makes you think that I am the Anti-Christ? ▷ Why do you discriminate, and stopped talking to me the moment you realised that I do not believe in your God, when deep inside you know that I am also a creation of your Almighty God. ▷ Why do I see, or hear Christian prayers as a message to God, demanding Him to do something for them instead of begging him? ▷ And most importantly, why should I believe the Christians and Everyone else? They keep on telling the World that they love their God and at the same time disrespect Him by destroying and polluting one of His Biggest and most Unique creations called ‘MOTHER EARTH. This Note is dedicated to all the metal heads. You Guys are the most respected, humble, loving and honest person that I have ever met and you love me unconditionally. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hour Babit Mawlong
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 09:57:57 +0000
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