MY CONFESSION Even though I don’t need to do this publicly I feel that I must. For many of you think so positive of me I’ll be the first to admit that I make mistakes. I have courage to admit I fell short and this is the way I want to go out. I have something to say and the person who deserves the upmost apology is my ex fiancé. I am accountable for a mistake I committed. I messed up a few months back and the decision I made emotionally affected more than just her. Even though I believe personal problems should be taking care of between couples, I hope that my experience is one that no one will need to go through and that everyone can learn from it. Pass judgment against me if you wish for there is nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself. I betrayed the trust of someone I love. When I realized what I did I knew it was too late for I realized to late what I was going to be losing. I thought I was free from it for no one knew anything but the truth is that I did wrong and for as much as it was going to hurt you I should have brought it to your attention and have been honest. The truth will always come out and I’m sorry that you found out the way you did and that I did this to you. I was the one that came at you with marriage and kids because that’s what I want. I came to you because I just knew and was ready to jump and assured you that I was. I trespassed against you and what happened should have never have happened. I am old enough and man enough to admit that I messed up and probably completely destroyed what I had with you. I hope you can forgive me and will understand if you don’t nor if you decided to ever talk to me. Being engaged to you was an awesome feeling. Words literally do not suffice how I felt coming home to you or being so proud to see you wear that ring. A few things I learned being engaged to you. One, is that I was fully invested and gave myself wholly heartedly to you. I loved that I finally found it in me to give my all to one person. You inspired a world of positive change; I became more detailed oriented, a better team player, and simply put gave straight from my heart because I wanted you to be proud of who you were getting as a man. Two, Lord knows how much I adored watching you wear the engagement ring. Your simple hand gestures always distracted me (in a good way) and every time I looked at it felt surreal that we were engaged. For the world knows that I’m generally a serious man it would bring the biggest smile to me that and made me feel so proud that I put it there. I will also never forget the kiss and hug you gave me the moment I got up from one knee. I had never been kissed nor hugged with such emotion. And when I didn’t know it was possible, love became even more beautiful when you became my fiancé. There is something that I can’t explain in words but so special about coming home to that one person. Even though it was short lived, I tell you it was literally the happiest I’ve ever been with someone. I was all about it and in it to win it. It’s a great feeling to know that you have it in you to dedicate yourself to someone, completely accept them for who they are, and make them your world. That you are no longer selfish and put her needs first. I was the one that came to you because I wanted to marry you. I knew what I wanted and my head was clear before I proposed to you. I was ready to be a family man. Now, I lost more than a fiancé and hurt more than just one person. I probably messed up the best thing in my life. If I have completely lost you then all I can do is respect and accept it as a man. And I will do the toughest prayer any man can do for the woman he loves and that is to pray that she will find someone that can make her happier than I did. I know this may be a shocker to most of you because I know I can come off as a person with strict morals but the truth is that I messed up. I compromised my trust and integrity by giving it away. I only have myself to blame. To my ex fiancé you have every right to feel how you feel. I love you and I am sorry.
Posted on: Sun, 15 Sep 2013 15:51:39 +0000