MY ONE DAY TRIP TO THE CHURCH OF GOD GENERAL ASSEMBLY Having resigned as an Ordained Bishop in the Church of God in July of 2013 I understandably had no plans to attend the General Assembly of the denomination I grew up in but no longer was affiliated with as a pastor. But, it seems God had other plans. This is rather lengthy and because of that, I am aware few will read it. But perhaps I just need to journal it. A few weeks ago in a time of prayer I believe that the Lord spoke to me concerning attending for one day. Every time I prayed…I heard this. I didn’t tell anyone and a week later my wife told me that God woke her up in the night and told her that I was supposed to go to the GA. After she shared that, I looked up the dates. It fell during my vacation. Now, my vacation was already booked and paid for and was 8 hours away from Orlando. With that confirmation however, I did what someone of my spiritual depth would do…I decided I wasn’t going! I didn’t have the hundreds of dollars it would cost to attend, I told myself. It would take me away from my family while on vacation…that wasn’t good for them, I told myself. To be perfectly honest though, I really just didn’t want to see those people…the ones who rejected me. So…I wasn’t going. But, it seems God had other plans. While on my way to north Georgia for vacation my wife was asking me if I was going, had I prayed, was I sure? We decided to pray and ask Holy Spirit together. We both heard the same thing we had already been hearing…Go. When I shared this with her family, it was met with questions. “Why? What’s the point? Where are you going to get the money? Why would God send you without telling you why you were to go? Why would He not pay for it?” All I could tell them, was that it didn’t violate God’s word, it wasn’t impulsive as I had prayed several times and it was confirmed through the Body…namely my wife. Moreover, I have been practicing listening for some time now and I was convinced that no matter the cost, both of time and money, being obedient to the Lord was it’s own reward. You see, I want to be the guy who Dad can trust to say YES when He asks something. That is more important to me than anything. I want to be His YES MAN. The original lie offered to humanity was, “Has God really said?” I didn’t want to be the one to repeat that refrain. So, even if I’m wrong…I think the fact that my heart wants to please Him…Pleases Him. So, I tucked the kids in, prayed over them, kissed my wife goodnight and got in my Suburban and drove through the night to Orlando. I was tired, I was apprehensive, I didn’t want to be doing this…but it seemed God had other plans. As I arrived, Dad gave me some specific instructions: - Don’t walk in as an orphan…remember that you are my son. - Pray all day about where to go, and listen. He would guide me. As I walked in, He led me to the exhibit hall down a path to the left toward the back which had the PCL set up…standing right there…the first person I ran into was Pastor Brenda Sterbens…my second mama. She hugged on me, talked to me, loved on me. I felt emotion well up inside. I remember thinking what a special gift God had for me…that He would set it up that the first person I ran into would be someone who loved me and wanted to talk to me. Then I went into the auditorium. I stood in the back and was greeted by Phil Looney who asked how I was and how my wife was. His smiling face and outstretched hand was a warm reception that harkened back to my days in Florida. Then the session ended and Dad directed me on a winding path toward the front. Half way there I ran into Dr. Johnny Sweet who is someone that I first got to know on a PCL trip to Cambodia. He hugged my neck and made sure I knew that he was glad to see me and that He loved me. Again I felt emotion brewing inside me. Then when I got to the front…just about everyone was gone. There were two security people and another person in silhouette on stage. He started to make his way down the stairs to where someone was waiting and greeted them with, “Let’s go to lunch.” I said, “Dr. Williams.” It was then he turned around and when he saw me he exclaimed, “BUCK!” He quickly made his way to me and threw both his arms around me and began to say, “Oh I love you. It’s so good to see you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Something happened in that moment. I felt it in a way I can’t really put into words. The emotion that had been stirring in me broke open and I began to cry. He introduced me to his friend and told him that I was no longer in the CoG through some very painful circumstances but that I had grown up in and ultimately pastored the church Sandra Kay’s grandfather pastored. He asked me to sit down and talk. I declined. I said, “ You need to go to lunch with your friend.” His friend said, “No, this is more important, I’ll see you this afternoon.” Turned and left. Now, we were completely alone. I said, “Listen, I appreciate you wanting to talk with me, but this wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to say hello. I am not here to get anything from you. Please go to lunch with your friend.” He declined. “No way, I want to talk with you”, He said. It seemed that God had other plans. He wanted to know how my wife and kids were. Were they ok? How was the church doing? Where they ok? How was I? Was I still hurt or in grief? I caught him up. I honestly said that I had not really had any emotion about it for quite some time…until I walked into this building. He asked if there was a story to me coming here today. I relayed what had happened. He asked where I was staying. I didn’t have a place to stay except my car. I told him I was going to drive back after service that night. He offered to find me a hotel room. While I appreciated that, I wouldn’t be staying. I didn’t come to get anything from him, start any trouble or cost him any money. He expressed that he knew that and that was a ridiculous notion…which I appreciated. But, he was worried that I would be too tired driving and put myself in danger. After a while, he said something that really touched my heart. He said…You don’t have to be in the Church of God for me to love you and your family. I do. Sandra Kay does. But, I miss you. I miss Rhea (my wife). You should be here, she should be singing. And, I pray like in the case of Onesimus that we are separated for a little while so that one day you might return forever. I appreciated that. More than the words, I appreciated him. Here we were…the ONLY two people in the auditorium, sitting and talking. He wanted to know that my family and I were ok. He wanted me to know we were loved. We were missed. We were important. All of this gained him nothing politically. There were no cameras, no witnesses. He could have hugged me and gone to lunch…I wouldn’t have thought anything bad about him. But, he stayed like a father would. He cared. He listened. I was moved to say the least. He prayed for me and I felt Holy Spirit there again. I prayed for Him. We cried. And then…We took a selfie! LOL This all lasted about half an hour. When we parted, he asked that I send him the selfie, which I did. A couple times that day we texted. More on that in a minute. Then I tried to return Pastor Tom Sterbens call. I couldn’t get him…which is the same for any day really. I asked the Lord whom to call. He said, “Travis.” Johnson answered the phone and told me to come crash the PCL lunch. Then PT called me back and I went to pick him up and we went to the restaurant. When I walked in my friend Dr. Fred Garmon hugged me and told me he was glad to see me. He pointed at a couple seats in the back and then stopped. He stood up and said, “Let’s do this. Tom sit over at that table with Dale and Buck you sit here in my seat.” I tried to say no. But it seemed God had other plans. I was struck by that later. It wasn’t earth shaking but it was another point of Grace for me. Honestly, I felt a little radioactive walking into the GA and to be treated with such hospitality (something I would expect from Fred…we are friends of course) but in that context…it was moving. I walked over and hugged my friend Dr. Dale Denham. And, when I sat in Fred’s seat I realized that Dr. Bill George was right beside me. I hugged him…another reminder of my days in Tennessee. I met some folks I hadn’t known before. Reconnected with folks from my days at Lee…Jake Stum and others. Talked with Travis Johnson. Listened to the presentation. Felt blessed to be in the room with so many who are making a real difference in the lives of people a world away…wanting to be Jesus with skin on to them. I didn’t think I would be able to get the money to go on the trip to Cambodia with them in May…but perhaps God has other plans. I made my way back to the convention center dropped off Tom and Bill and headed to the auditorium. God pointed out a painted mark on the floor in the back and told me to stand on it…He was going to bring someone to me. To my amazement, Christian Swift walked by. I was reminded of my days as a student at Lee College. As I reconnected with him, he asked some questions that necessitated telling him I was no longer in the CoG. When he asked why I said simply but without telling him who and where…summed it up with…I couldn’t trust the leadership in my state any longer and after much prayer believe I was led out. He burst into tears. He began to tell me his story. How he had experienced a season where an overseer worked to remove him from the country he was in. How he came to Lee to teach as an adjunct. How it was terribly hard to make ends meet, to provide for his family and how difficult it was emotionally to be in exile. This was when I met him at Lee. I would never have known that then. He is one of only three professors that I still remember what they said in class, impacted me profoundly, and continue to be thought of almost 20 years later. In that season, he said the worst thing wasn’t the untrue things that were said about him, or what had been taken from him, but what the enemy tried to put in his heart. Ultimately he allowed God to vindicate him, restore paths to dwell in, became the closest friend of that overseer and was put as the overseer of that country and many others. God raised him up…after he had humbled himself. I was blown away. He prayed over me. I cried some more. Of all the people to connect with, I would have never thought he would come my way…it seemed God had other plans. Then I connected with Shea Hughes. We talked. He reminds me not only of our time at Lee but also of my final days in Texas. He began to tell me that he was sorry that he had not checked on me and connected with me as much through those trying days. I told him I understood the tension he would be in as the State YCE Director. He told me of what God was doing in his life…the promises God reminded him of…how his mother still prays for my family and me. That blessed me. While we were talking Edwin walked by. Shea and I said hello. Edwin came over and hugged me and then sat down and talked with us for a while. I haven’t told him this…but I appreciated that. He didn’t have to. But, it was another reminder of our childhood friendship…that remains. After they dismissed, I got up to leave and ran into Rodney Cannon who hugged on me and then talked with Billy Humphrey…all Lee alums. Billy asked me how we were and expressed how sad he was over the fact that I was no longer on the floor. Mr. Previous Question himself…lol. Then I went to take a nap in my car. I awoke 45 min later with people filing into the convention center. I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and made my way inside. I had made plans to sit with Michael and Jihan Cox who are close friends. But, they were still checking in their kids. As I walked in, God told me to go down a winding path and then I ran directly into Keith and Michele Duncan. Old friends from my Weatherford, TX days. They invited me to sit next to them. As I did…Keith began to prophesy over me. It isn’t something I want to share here. It’s just for me. Afterwards, I was led to get up and go on another winding path and in that journey, I ran into Rodney Cannon’s dad who hugged my neck and my old Lee roommate and Campus Choir alum Travis and his wife Sharon Ballinger. Travis said, you being out of the CoG makes me sad and mad all at the same time. I appreciated that. Then as I stood in the back on the same spot again…Pastors Tom and Brenda walked in. We talked a bit. Then, they went to sit down and the Cox family arrived. We went and sat by the Duncans and I listened to Bradley Knight play and lead a song…he has always been great to me and Rhea. He even played at our wedding. Then I heard Dr. Mark Williams deliver a message to the Church of God that I thought probably didn’t include me. It seemed God had other plans. I was blown away with what he said. Touched by the Holy Spirit speaking to not only those who were hurt, but to those who had done the hurting. “We don’t need to be concerned with titles…we need to pick up a towel.” It was a message for all of us and I received it gladly. I went down front. I stood and prayed. I sang and worshipped. I looked around for the one person I felt I needed to go to and wash his feet. I asked God to show him to me. He didn’t. Perhaps that is for another day. Chris Moody came up to me and apologized for some stuff…(I think he still is hurting from all those Teen Talent whoopings I put on him)…but he told me that the CoG was my home and that he had been praying for me and my family for the last couple weeks. It was sincere and gracious and I received it. Kevin Wallace hugged me and said it was good to see me among other things. Then Delores Maguire began to hug and love on me. She comforted me and said she hated that I was hurt. It was a momma moment I didn’t see coming. It really was like healing oil being poured over me. And then I left with Michael and Jihan. We went on an adventure to find food and finally came to a Checkers that you had to wipe your feet off on the way OUT. Anyway, we talked and laughed. It was great. Then, they prayed over me and I got in my car to drive back. Around 1 am I received the last text message from Mark Williams in response to one I had sent thanking him for washing my feet today. It was the best end to my GA adventure. I hit lots of rush hour traffic by the time I got to Atlanta and so it took me 9 hours to get back. I finally walked in the door at 8:45am. In 50 hours I had a total of 3 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. I was exhausted. It had cost me a few hundred dollars, and a day away from my family and vacation. But, it was worth it. I must say. I went down there with much trepidation and apprehension. I discovered that I wasn’t completely healed from the events of last year. This trip was all about discovering the truth. Bill George said to me, “I’m so glad you came. I’m sure your friends are glad to see you.” I said, “My friends?” He said, “Yeah, haven’t you been greeted by friends who love you? I am one who does.” And, there it was. Real revelation. All day long, I had been greeted by friends who loved me. Regardless of how I am received in Texas…the Church of God holds lots of people from my time in Florida, Lee, Tennessee and the mission fields that hugged me, told me they loved me and prayed over me. I didn’t have anyone come up to me and ask, “Why are YOU here.” No one mistreated me. I wasn’t rejected. I was accepted, loved, and valued. That message was said to me over and over that day. I thought going in it was going to be hard, frustrating and discouraging. It seems that God had other plans. I don’t know what the days ahead have in store for me. I love the congregation I pastor. I am excited about the vision God has given us for so many things…I am praying for the provision for those…among them are…a Christian Worship and Arts School, Rhea recording a live worship album at long last, a recovery center for men and one for women, a school of evangelism, to train and equip families to be light in darkness in the every day places they go, and so much more. We don’t have a building of course or a big bag of money…but we are pouring into 150 people with all we have and they are growing and going deeper into God. 31 were baptized with the Holy Spirit a few weeks ago! I know that resources follow vision and God has a lot of vision He has shown me. So, does my path lead back into the denomination of my great grandparents? I don’t really know. I can’t really see how. But who knows…if I have learned anything it’s this: Dad always seems to have other plans. Thanks for reading.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 18:44:27 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015