Many of you have private messaged me both praising and admonishing my posts regarding my faith and the frequency of posting it lately. Consider this a public reply and I hope that it clears things up. Keep in mind, as I have said for years, I am not for everyone. This is my story and I remain unapologetic for the profoundness of it. Most of you do not know that I grew up wanting to be a Catholic Priest. I went to 8 years of Catholic school and the feeling I had for serving God was unlike any other. Yet as life passed, I went my own way and the interest became non existent. I did, however, become a pretty damn good sinner. Most of you do, however, probably know what my greatest sin is…pride. It was my prideful lifestyle, wanting to do things my way, my rules and my own path, with my enormous ego which led me to a life of constant searching for fulfillment in people, places and things that always left me less of the man I wanted to be. I have learned this year, that God speaks to each of us in our own language. He doesn’t whisper…He talks straight to us. I had just chose for years not to listen. But apparently when He wants you, you’re His. My pride cost me not one, but two careers in Law Enforcement. Constantly making my voice the priority and never respecting the virtue of humility. What I thought was idealism, was narcissism and clearly vanity wrapped up in pride. I have been working my ass off for 7 years, trying to build a martial arts school and personal training business as well as a name for myself, with results so little, I almost called it quits this summer. I saw myself as entitled and owed, having paid all my dues…my pride stopped my progress. But as I said, God speaks to us in the language only we can hear… So, speaking my language, only how He knew He’d get through to me, He gifted me with the most important relationship I have ever known. And inside of this relationship He presented challenge and tests, all befitting for the ego driven, problem solving, prideful man that I was…and I failed all of them. He got my attention and showed me the importance of failing. He showed me that I needed Him…and although I heard His voice, I didn’t listen. Over and over He showed me the way, but I let pride steer me astray. And over and over, I heard His voice say, “try harder if you think your way will work.” So, I did. And the way got darker, the path got deeper, I lost all direction and I felt utterly alone. Pride cost me everything. While taking the garbage out, over the summer, in complete defeat, I said, “I surrender myself to you. I understand that I cannot do it alone.” And in that moment, I was so overwhelmed, I dropped to my knees and wept openly. I immediately felt wrapped, engulfed, picked up and claimed by He who has unconditional love. I finally understood what He was trying to tell me…I am not alone. For those of you who have followed my journey with me, you have seen my health improve to uncanny levels which I had not been able to attain in years worth of attempts. The “own your day” posts, which you have all come to love and thank me for, were all inspired from my reflection on what life was like before I chose to listen to Him and then the empowerment I found in not walking, but running the path He set before me. My personal business has more than double inside of two months with me receiving daily offers and requests from people wanting to train with me world wide. The reach and influence I tried to grow over 7 years was possible in a matter of weeks at His hand. Out of nowhere, I was contacted, asking if I wanted to return to active duty as a Police Officer. Nowhere do I know of any officer who has gotten a third chance to finish his career with honor, after the disgrace he caused at his own hand. And what looked like never possible, our new location, exclusively ours, will be opening this spring with some of the most amazing people standing at our side. None of that was done with my hard work. None of it was done with my pride. All of it was done because He made it so. So, for a better understanding of who I am, what I stand for and if I am, or not, for you or with the risk of losing your support, I am a convicted Warrior of God who is proud to serve Him. I am still an ego driven, ambitious, intense and outspoken, type A personally…opinionated to the 10th degree, but I am His first. His gifts have been everything, He is everything. It is my prayer that you too will listen when He speaks. Thank you and you can all stop the emails now.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Apr 2014 02:18:28 +0000