Marie: The sound from the other room is that of Walter and the boys playing pool. Just before – they were in the garage jamming. Dylan on drums, Mike and Walter on guitar. Cream, Hendrix, and old blues tunes flooding my auditory canal! Walter is finding his way – playing with the boys. It is exciting to hear – and to know that each time he gets stronger; working towards reclaiming his strength and his sound. In the process he forges new bonds with our boys. They are gradually building trust that he is going to stick around. It has been such a tough haul for them. For all of us! I am getting the message; that I need to put down my warrior suit of armor and stop pretending that I know anything. Each time I think I have a plan; God shows up and points me in another direction that I was not prepared for. Such was the case with my trip to Costa Rica. Two days into the trip I Skype’d Walter. Denial had me not picking up on the fact that something was awry. But as Walter spoke, reality set in: He was once again in the Intensive Care Unit. This time at our local hospital! I set everything aside for the next few days. I wanted to stay close to phone and computer – Walter insisted that I did not come home. But I did not want to go through with Theresa’s and my plans to go to the rain forest and the beach. We cancelled. Instead I booked Walter a flight to Nebraska to get him thoroughly checked out. I talked with various doctors. I emailed There was suspicion that there were abscesses in his liver. Or infection around his bile duct. And this is what had caused yet another bout of infection. UCLA could not admit Walter as rapidly as they could in Omaha. So I got him off to Nebraska from my laptop in Costa Rica! Vernon stayed with our kids longer than he had planned. Unfortunately this meant that he could not go with his darling Debbie to her mother’s Memorial Service in Iowa. He cancelled his trip there to stay with our boys. We are eternally indebted to him – and to Debbie for toughing it out at a very difficult time without him. We are carried by such love from our community. And I just sit in awe at the kindness that surrounds us. I sometimes wonder where our humanity is going when I read news stories or watch TV, but when I look around me – I feel surrounded with love and kindness every day. It is real. It is there! And I am so thankful! Arriving in Omaha, the amazing Dr. Shafer, Laurie, and the liver team at the Med Center came through again. They decided on the proper diagnostic tools to see what was going on with Walter. They performed thorough tests and eventually concluded that whatever had caused the infection this time was gone. His liver was perfect. The bile duct and stent were perfect. There was no infection in the blood. Nothing growing. Just a mysterious bout of God-knows-what…. So I stayed at my beautiful friend Theresa’s apartment in Costa Rica, and we worked on our dissertations. Not the trip I had planned or anticipated – but the trip I got! Theresa offered some great perspective on my work – and I helped her moving hers along. We bookended our stay together with visits at a spa overlooking the rainforest where we got massages and marveled at hawks, butterflies, and amazing views in front of our eyes. And we wrote, we talked, we studied, and wrote some more. It turned out to be perfect once I gave up my expectations of what it should have been! When I came home Sunday – Walter was in Omaha. I managed to get him back on a plane to California again Tuesday. And since he has been to Physical Therapy, taking the boys around, working again to reclaim his music, and he is markedly stronger than when I left. This journey post-transplant is something else. The first 6 to 12 months are supposed to be unpredictable. But each time we have a snafu – it seems to go faster – and be less serious. It is a rollercoaster ride nonetheless. So we keep riding! However, my Amazonian suit of armor is proving to be less and less useful. I am considering that maybe I don’t need it anymore. Maybe my new protection is just taking everything as it comes. And moving with it – knowing that no matter what, it is not my plan that ultimately matters!
Posted on: Sun, 16 Nov 2014 13:06:38 +0000
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