Marriage Message #279 - Water Your Own Marriage If your marriage is less than blissful, and you feel like giving up, I can tell you from personal experience; marriages can be raised from the dead. My husband, Ron, and I had one of the worst marriages Ive ever seen… but now we really love each other. We even like each other. You can too. Are you willing to begin anew? (Nancy C. Anderson) Your marriage may not be one of the worst marriages anyone could ever see, but does your marriage need a few tips to help it along? Who doesnt, right? Even the best of marriages can use at least a little improving --ours included. Below is some great advice from Nancy Andersons book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage. It may give you hope to believe that even YOUR marriage can improve (and perhaps give hope to others, if you share this message with them). Nancy writes: Youre probably thinking, why should I be the first to change, or how come I have to do all the work? The answer is simple: God will work with whoever is available and give that person the strength to change. Are you available? You already know that you cant change your mate, but you can change your own behavior. The word change indicates transformation, which is metamorphosis; the word metamorphosis begins with the two letters me. Change begins with me. If you want a vibrant and loving marriage, make this verse your prayer, Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10) Address unmet needs. If you ignore each others needs, one or both of you will be more tempted to go elsewhere. But having unmet needs is no excuse for bad behavior and going after satisfaction outside your marriage is always wrong. The Bible says --to both of you --to be satisfied with the wife/husband of your youth. That indicates that we should be content with our mates. The best way to avoid the Greener Grass Syndrome is to water your own lawn [marriage]. If our marriages are well watered, the grass on our own side of the fence will be lush and soft and lovely. And if youre both committed to your marriage, the Flirty Franks and Teasing Tinas at the office, gym, or grocery store wont be as tempting. Maybe youre saying, But, Nancy, you dont know how selfish my husband/wife is. Youre right, I dont know your situation, but Im assuming you chose to marry that person, so they must have some wonderful qualities too. Unless your spouse is abusing you or your children, you can choose to be satisfied in your marriage. Look for the best in your mate, not at his or her faults. Usually, the more you meet your spouses needs, the more he or she will want to meet yours. It doesnt matter who plants the first seeds, because youll enjoy the harvest --together. It might be hard to start, but if you dont, and your mate wont, then who will? And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart [give up]. (Galatians 6:9) Ask yourself, Am I paying attention? My husband, Ron, recently had a conversation with his friend Earl. Earl said, for years, my feet have been killing me. I bought insole cushions for my shoes and even bought an expensive pair of arch supports, but nothing helped. So I finally went to a podiatrist. What did he say? Ron asked. Earl said, First, he X-rayed my feet and looked at the films. Then the doctor asked me, What size shoe do you wear? I answered, Eleven. Then he said, No wonder your feet hurt, you should wear a size thirteen! Earl shook his head as he told Ron, Ive been buying size eleven shoes since high school. It never occurred to me to measure my feet to see if theyd grown. His shoes had been too small for years! His feet had changed, but he wasnt paying attention. Have you measured your marriage lately? Its easy to get complacent and just continue doing what weve always done. Since nothing ever stays the same, small changes can sneak up on us and cause some big problems. Are you experiencing growing pains? If youre struggling in your relationship and feel like youve grown apart from your spouse, today can be the day of new beginnings. I know how lonely, discouraged, and exhausted you may feel, because Ive felt that way. I was in a marriage full of emptiness. I was the original Desperate Housewife, when 24 years ago, I had an affair and moved out of our house. Ron and I were both selfish, angry, and critical; but we arent anymore. Well… Im still a little selfish, but mostly our lives are full of light and love --and yours can be too. We admitted our faults, asked for forgiveness, changed our behavior, and decided to love each other. Our feelings eventually caught up with our actions and we slowly grew a lovely green grass marriage in our own backyard. We learned that fighting and blaming wont work. Commanding and demanding cant work. Surrender works. If you surrender your heart to the Lord, and ask Him to work in you and through you, He will accomplish more than you could ever do on your own. Ron and I still dont agree on all issues, but since weve reached a compromise on most of the major ones; the minor ones --like where to set the thermostat or which one of us is a better driver (me) --wont break us. Weve learned to work together as a team, and that is our prayer for you. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. ........................................ Good thoughts to consider. We hope this will be helpful to your marriage, as you apply the principles Nancy brought to the forefront for us this week. And as we approach Thanksgiving this week, Cindy and I (Steve) want you all to know how thankful we are for each one of you --that you allow us into your marriages each week with these Marriage Messages. The Apostle, Paul, articulates our feelings: I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. (Philippians 1:3-5) We also wanted to pray a blessing over your marriage: Heavenly Father, We pray you will look with favor upon this marriage. We pray that in good times and in bad they will grow in their love for each other, and will resolve to be of one heart, blessed with the peace You will give to them as they seek You. In their struggles help them to know that You are there with them and will help them with their needs. Inspire them to be kind in their words and actions, considerate of each others feelings, and forgiving of each others human weaknesses and failings. Bless them with your joy as they seek you… and in their joy help them to see that you are the source of every happiness they could ever know. Make their love fruitful. And because of the love that others see in them, we pray you will draw others to Yourself. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen. Be blessed,
Posted on: Sun, 24 Nov 2013 11:45:47 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015