Memories is all I have left.. Or rather Im permitted to have... Do you know what its like? To love someone from a distance; love them so much the wait was worth it? The feeling... the airport sounds... traffic.. and the pressure of seeing this person for the first time sets in... The near-nervous-breakdown that sets in as you wait for your flight... Yes that time has passed... Yes its not set in stone anywhere... what happened in the past should stay there... But this isnt some regular heartbreak... Ive experienced a connection with someone beyond the point anyone has gone... The heavy heart feeling of being at the airport... but for departure back home... Those bitter sweet memories that these 7 years is embedded into my heart and is apart of my life... To wish to carry on as everyone else, is no shorter than a miracle... For what I had experienced was love at its purest... But it ended with... with cliche climactics... Its not fair the world can be this heartless... Even when its pure... despite that Im willing to move on... But note this... These memories will forever be my luggage ... You accept me? Then you accept all of me... Me and my luggage... Its not easy.. Everything that once brought me happiness is now a constant reminder of those better times... Will you hate me for it? Or aid me with it... If you tell me youre going to help me with it be warned.... be patient... this isnt an easy thing to let go and granted your efforts are being acknowledged but this is not a for sure thing... My luggage... feels forever tied to my back..> and yet... at the same timeit feels like its out of place... as if I lost it at the airport... You say no matter what I say Ive heard this before... You say believe me I say Ive believed it once, with my life at the line... This... takes time... ... Music is such a beautiful thing... Whiterun ... played a bunch in my ipod... To listen to this once again and be reminded those times ... can reawaken locked away emotions... and this is but one of the triggers of my past... 7 years worth of triggers are bottled up.. but Whiterun played on my search for my flight... whiterun played when landing and searching for her the first time... This beautiful piece... has played a role more than just cinematic approach in gaming... but in my heart... ... the last memory I had of this... was tying her hairband around my finger where my ring was... and crying about where I ended up... Where she put me... she put me in this mental hospital for 3 nights... and broke her promise of staying friends and talks behind my back to her parents and friends as if I was the worst thing thats happened... as if i was crazy... Love isnt and shouldnt be mistaken for insanity yes how i acted was a bit excessive... But its because something so perfect or so I thought tobe perfect... ended in selfishness... ... Not even a friendship was kept... as if we never met... we never existed... this band will stay on this finger... til I feel I can learn to trust... to trust and believe love can exist... dont take it the wrong way.. but Ive heard it all before.. and seen so much... within those 7 years... so forgive me if my guard is up... Its not that i dont believe you Its more... that its hard to believe the concept... its not you... but the whole idea ... Im not good with words... dont take this wrong... Pardon me... I vented... https://youtube/watch?v=9Oo0K7icLxA
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 04:33:32 +0000
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