Mistakes. Ive made a few, but I consider them challenges everyone needs to have in order to learn what it means to live. Through my failures Ive learned its not about what I do for a living, or what school I went to, how much debt Ive accrued, the size of my living space, or what others think about me. Its kinda more about learning how to be present. To truly BE in a moment. To let all the worry and anxiety and fear go. If I dont then Ill miss my life. I would hate to miss another second of life fretting over things beyond my control. I know my parents did the best they could for me, and I need to trust that they raised someone who would conquer lifes bullshit and shine. I know myself somewhat, and Patty is not going to have the life she imagined for herself. It will be hard for me, there will be days where the pain is too incredible to comprehend, but there will also be days where the Sun doesnt stop shining. Where happiness surrounds me, and its in moments like that I will find the courage that will help me fight and get me through anything. All I know is Im blessed to be loved. Joyful that I love in return. Stronger and Thankful for all the pain Ive experienced as there is no greater professor. APPECIATIVE for all the truly amazing Beings Ive had the absolute pleasure to encounter. More so the help that people have given me and the kindness that they are capable of sometimes astonishes me! Probably comes from only expecting to see the cruel and selfish at this point. Its awe inspiring how a stranger can become family and vice versa. All the characters we meet along this journey seem to show us how different, yet similar the world can be. I dont know why Im on this planet yet, but it has something to do with love and giving. I know Im here not to acheive any sort of serotypical success, but my soul would die happy knowing that in even the smallest way I didnt cause the people I love pain. That I really understood and applied what it means to have a thick moral fiber. My greatest success would be to be happliy married. To actually find and feel about someone more than one does about oneself is terrifying and exhilarating. To not even hope that they felt the same way, but the absolute joy in knowing that they did would put me over the roof. There is good inside me and there is evil. I choose to feed the good, and it grows stronger even when it gets rough. I know I have a good heart and that I have to protect it. That its the most important thing to protect because whatever sense of innocence thats let inside it needs to stay there for as long as possible; it is vital not to loose your inner child. apologies for the rant, but it felt good, and I wanted to share.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:41:29 +0000
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