Molweni ..please hide my identity Admin. Ndibhala with a heavy heart, ndizbambe ngeenkophe .Im a young ambitious woman in my early 20s. Andizucela kakhulu, ndcela nje nindimamele and pray for me. Ndinengxaki with my sister people whos 10years older than me. Sibaninzi ekhaya, Im very close with 2 of my siblings. Mandiqale apha, Im an introvert and highly sensitive and ndyakuthanda ukuhleka. Andngomntu uthanda izinto ke but ndyajola every now and then(been single for over a year). im sharing all this so that you guys can understand the kind of life I choose to live. I stay at my sisters place. Its only me and her kuleprovince and others are scattered all over SA. Nguye ekhaya onomsebenzi ongathi ubhatala kakuhle. My parents sebebadala noko so abaphangeli. I was in university kunyaka ogqithileyo but zange ndipase kakuhle. I was doing my 2nd year kwi-engineering kubhatala yena ke. Mid year last year wathi akanamali yokubhatala so mandizame NSFAS yabe sele igqithile idate ye-applications and they wouldnt take my late application. Like I said andzange ndiqhube kakuhle ke end of the year because ndandineworry yezinto ezininzi(no excuse I know but sekwenzekile). This year I couldnt enroll but I kept my head held high ndaqonda ndizozama imali and go back next year. Ndizifumene ke opportunities kwicall center ngoba noko ndingumntu ondwebileyo I go for what I want and Im a hard worker. Ndaye ndavula a separate account(fixed account and made it clear uba imali iphuma only ngoJan) for my savings noko ive saved a few thousands and ive sorted everything out for iskolo next year. (last years debt and next years registration. All me i might add, I dont mind ke because its my future afterall). Apha ke endlini besiye sincedisane ngeGroceries(my choice because I felt horrible by not contributing anything) and she would take care of the rent, ndincedise kwi-electricity sometimes. Owam ke usisi is a total opposite of myself(or vice versa) uyabuthanda ubumnandi, uzxabisile itshomi nabafana, obhuti phofu. August yavalwa la call center ndandphangela kuyo but noko akuzange kube kubi. I got a wonderful entry level job at 1 of the leading retail companies zasemzantsi, ehead office yakhona, this is my first month(Oct). Since I was low on cash, I asked my sister to take care of everything kulenyanga because kfuneka ndijongene ne-expenses zenyanga yonke emsebenzini. She told me straight up akanamali. When I told her bendinqwenela uke ndizthengele impahla because noko the environment is of a very high standard, she told me naye akanazo iimpahla ndathula ke because nyani andinamali. I decided to buy izinto zokutya ezincinci ngalamali yempahla because mna ndihlala apha endlini most of the time yena ke aphume netshomi zakhe, ndizawlamba anyway. Bethuna to make it short I feel like andihlali nosisi wam, I feel like ndim omdala kulendlu. Xa ethandile uske athi masiyothenga ifish, xa ndicela imali akhalaze uba she has to buy petrol abale abale abale de ndityhafe ndiyeke. Last month ndaye ndacela kutata imali yentloko, ndlela le wandingxolisa yona esithi ndenzela utata istress because ndyamazi akanamali kodwa xa ndicela kuye uyandishowta. Everytime eye emall, she buys herself iimpahla. New hairstyle every 3rd week. Goes out every weekend (akekho nangoku oko kwafriday) Im soooooo tired, ndihlala ndikhathazekile because mna andizifumani ezam izinto that i need because I have to sacrifice for food.. Undiqwela ngokuthi xa ndibuya at work (yena ubuya around 5pm, mna ndifike after 6) azibabaze ukulamba agqibe abuze ukuba kutyiwa ntoni, mna kufuneka ndigoqoze ndijonge because Her highness is hungry. I cant wait for my payday, nam ndibengumntu. I actually cant wait kuphele unyaka and move to campus. I feel so drained and tired. This year has taken every energy in me but ndizixelele 1 thing, I will fulfill my dreams without her help. Im sure some of you will ask what about my other siblings, well ndyayazi imeko yabo and ndiyonqena ubasokolisa and ndibaleka lanto yoba ngathi Im bad mouthing her kubo. I dont want to hate my sister but its taking everything in me not to. she has given me every reason to hate her. Ive run out of strength, that is why im here. I needed to offload and I know nizondicebisa and give me ideas so that ndingamkelwa ziingqondo and not give up. Take care everyone. Thank you
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 09:40:38 +0000
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