Mom Post (long) I apologize that this is long, however I feel that background info is necessary. I am a sm to an 8 yr old boy that I have helped to raise since he was 5 1/2 months old. My husband and I also have 3 kids together. We have had 50/50 custody with my ss mother. Over the years, we have intermittently gotten along with her. BM got married to a man a few years ago who also had a child and now they also have 2 more children together. She has always given up some time with her son although she is supposed to have him every other week. Some of this is documented, some is not. BM would take him when it was convenient for her and give up her time when she felt the need to do so. DH and I have been responsible for medical coverage and we have taken him to all appts over the last 5 years. We have also been the ones to enroll him in school since he was 4. BM has moved 8 times throughout his life. Neither her or her husband work, he collects unemployment while working under the table, she gets food stamps and free insurance. DH and I both have jobs, mine is better than his. Over the last few months, things have gotten extremely bad. They are broke, yet they have taken 2 vacations this summer. My ss did not go on either. They moved a drug addict into their home for rent money. He was arrested in their home for possession of drug paraphernalia a few months later. Their home is dirty, and they currently have fleas. Despite her getting food stamps, my ss tells us that he does not get fed breakfast and dinner. He also never gets bathed over there. He has no sheets on his bed and gets yelled at for everything. I have also witnessed him being responsible for bathing and feeding his 2 and 1 yr old sisters. SS is always unsupervised there and they live in a bad neighborhood. He is severely allergic to cats, she now has a cat that he gets yelled at for touching but he does not receive allergy medication while in her home. Outsiders have contacted us because they are concerned about the things taking place in their home. These things are just the tip of the iceberg in our situation. BM felt that my husband should have to pay cs although we have already been responsible for all expenses during our time, all schooling, and all medical. She wanted to apply for cash assistance and the only way to do so was to go after him for cs. It has been 8 years that we have not had any agreement for this. She was awarded a lot less than $100/month. Then over a month ago, she tells my husband that she plans to move out of state so her husband can join the military and she plans to take ss with her. At first she wanted 3 months on/ 3 months off and home school ss. My husband said no. We have recently obtained a very expensive atty and we are currently fighting for primary custody. BM refuses to let SS go to his extracurricular activities during her time and is now refusing to allow my ss to speak to my DH while she has him. She is also putting it into his head that he will be moving with her. We are also trying to get ss into counseling, bc we do not want this to hurt him,however we need her consent as well due to 50/50. We do not speak to ss about this unless he bring it up. When he does though, all he says is that he does not want to move and my husband assures him that he will not let that happen. WE have been documenting everything as of May, and we have intermittent documentation since 2005. I am extremely stressed out and I need insight into our situation. Is primary custody allowing her eowe a possibility in our situation? Any and all info/advice would be helpful. Thank you. rp ~ Kay ~ no bashing please
Posted on: Tue, 24 Sep 2013 14:45:33 +0000
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