Morning September, 27th, 2014 I see ragweed blooming here, and the golden rod is not far behind. I have had sinus issues for the past few days and Friday I developed a sore throat. We might have had Meredith over, but I advised Ed of my situation and that I didn’t want to take a chance on passing something to Meredith. Ed understood and has made arrangements for Meredith to stay somewhere else. When I feel under the weather, it affects me in different ways. Yesterday I felt so bad, it reflected in my writing. Feelings surfaced that I wouldn’t normally talk about. I felt led to write perhaps in a more somber tone than I would have liked. I have things on my mind and I feel what I needed to say was done yesterday. I don’t have regrets about what I write. I do have a lot of respect for what God wants me to do, fear sometimes that is actually a sign that what I am writing needs to be carefully worded. I trust God to guide me. My heart is speaking today. There are messages sent to me on Praying for Kendra Fendt that would just break your heart. The situations that some have dealt with are so incredibly difficult and painful. I look at my own days with Kendra in Birmingham and I know that as awful as my own journey was, there are others that have been through so much more. I just want to tell them that I care and that God has each of them in his arms. I know from my own experiences working as a teacher in our local children’s hospital that sometimes children are called home to God. I’ve seen the horrid results of losing a child in the parents and family members’ faces and their body language. I’ve heard the wrenching cries and the heartbreaking questions, “Why, Why?” I want you to know, there usually isn’t an answer. If you are a Christian believer, you know God doesn’t answer those questions in just words, or whispers. He might not ever answer the questions. What God will do is unfold a plan, lay out a journey for each of us. I firmly believe that we all have a purpose being on this earth. We may know what we want to do and sometimes God’s plan for us is what we want to do. In my case, here I am writing a journal. I never would have imagined doing this on my own. Kaleigh Almond set up this website and let us know about the website. From there, thousands and thousands of people followed our journey with Kendra for nearly two and a half months before Sister went home to our Father and we returned to our own homes. As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2nd Corinthians 4: 16 Things, God knew what he was doing when he put the word “things” on Paul’s heart. Because God is one of those things unseen by believers. Where our life goes from the day we let our child go is a thing we cannot see or know totally. The people, situations, thoughts, and revealed moments that come into our journey are all things we cannot know and yet they mold our life and how we take each step in our healing. As we try and plan what we need to do each day, God’s plan is interwoven in the way we involve ourselves with people and with our daily actions. Behold, the Lords hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear… Isaiah 59:1 To know how to listen to God can be daunting. Prayer and communication is one way we have dialogue with God. What we do and how we do our tasks, our work, our time spent outside our work is also communication with God. Our choices, our actions, our decisions opens up our lives to Jesus. We need to be aware, we need to be open to how God communicates to us and leads us. Help comes to us directly in God’s arms reaching around us and folding us into Him. He may impart His help to us in ways that we cannot anticipate. If I could say anything that would help another person it would not be through my own words. My words are inadequate. It is through my heart I reache out to my brothers and sisters in Christ who have been on a journey like mine. To them I say your loss is recognized, I know about your pain and suffering. I hear you and God knows what you are coping with each minute of each day. There will be times you feel God is gone… He isn’t gone. He is waiting for me, He is waiting for you. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” John 5: 6 Jesus was talking to a man that had lay on the street for over thirty years because he was afflicted to such a degree that He could not help himself. This is what I am trying to say, God works through us for us in His time. All our lives are different from each other’s. God’s plan for each of us is real, but we cannot influence His timing. Be ready to listen, be ready to move forward by waiting in God’s time, not in human time. He will speak in ways that we understand and sometimes cannot know. Yes, Lord I want to be healed and so do your children want to be healed. God is go
Posted on: Sat, 27 Sep 2014 17:02:18 +0000