Most know my story but a lot still dont..... & every time I go to tell it I feel a great deal of emotions not so much toward myself but in hopes that it may help someone else. Today 2 yrs ago I was spiraling out of control taken over by a horrible addiction to pain medication. I hurt the ones closest to me over & over & over again until one day God brought me to my bottom. I sat in a cold (not temperature) probation office where I was for the first time in my life in trouble. My family didnt have the problems that most had. My sister, my brother, & I were raised to respect others, to appreciate the ones close to us, & were blessed to know right from wrong but here I sat in this cold office for the 2nd month in a row panicked because all dignity was stripped aside when asked to do a urinalysis every month & not bc I had anything to hide (I had prescriptions for everything) but because someone stood over staring at you while you took this test every month. Well as hours passed not being able go I sat & filled my gatorade bottle with water & just kept drinking knowing that I would eventually just pop if nothing else. Well, at 37 yrs old, I had to call my dad to come sit with me bc I began to get really nauseous, dizzy, & fatigued sitting there. I kept telling the ladies at the desk that I didnt feel right & that something was wrong. So of course dad took off work to come & sit with me. They took me in the back one last time to try to use the restroom but little did my dad know that would be the last time he saw me until the multiple fire trucks & ambulance arrived rushing through the door & then carrying me back by him on a stretcher. :( While in the back office I became extremely disoriented & was asked to sit & write my name. I remember getting so upset bc I couldnt write or even speak & then I crashed. I dont remember anything!!! My parents of course rushed to the hospital where my brother, Allen & sister -in-law, Gretchen met them there. HOURS later they finally were able to see me. I remember my mom & Gretchen standing over me & I remember trying to talk to them but I still could not speak. So everyone thinks I overdosed, right? Nope!! I started a medication weeks prior, called Suboxone to help me wean off of the prescriptions bc Id had enough. I had actually drank too much water (water intoxicity) which caused my sodium to drop dangerously low which causes swelling on the brain which makes you disoriented. Thank GOD I didnt go home bc my brain wouldve continued to swell. I was in ICU for a little over 5 days. Although I was on the path to beating the addiction I hadnt beat the addiction of the $ from going to the drs appointments. So my amazing family stepped in & gave me a few ultimatums. I am humbled, grateful, & so very BLESSED!! I met some amazing women along the way but most importantly met GOD again!! I thank my daughter, family, my mom, my dad, & their great friends & church family bc I know it was their sleepless nights & hours of prayer. Most of all thank-u Jesus for picking ME & allowing me to hopefully touch or give someone else hope!!!
Posted on: Sun, 11 Jan 2015 18:43:47 +0000
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