My Apology Càthërïné This is hard to write....first I would like to apologize for the things I did while I was drinking. I wish I could turn back time and undue all the wrong I did but you cant turn back time I just wish you had talked to me first it would have helped me. I was drinking because I was hurting being so in love with you. Everything I did for you was out of love caring and kindness I do not apologize for loving you. Im a giving person as well as thats how I express love. The cross I gave you is 19 years old. That cross has been broken and repaired it has been blessed and been under the ocean and through the Bermuda triangle it has seen all my joy and all my pain and was around my neck for 19 years but most of all when I got that cross at Scottish fest in 1995 it had only one meaning to me that I was going give it to the last woman I would ever love that woman is you. I hope one day you will wear it a sight that Ive wanted to see all me life. Im not going to ever love anyone else. Im not saying this to be mean or hurt your feelings in anyway it is what it is the truth. Everything that has happened to me in the last few months was beacause of how much you meen to me. When you got me the shirt on my birthday my heart skipped a beat and my hope went up so much and Courtney made fun about it saying its a love connection around here. I apologize for texting your friends your right Im not your father or your brother Im just someone hopelessly lost to you. When I stayed at the barn it was because I wanted to be there to help if you needed but mostly to make sure you were safe. The pictures on my iPad I never got the chance to explain the reason that reason was that I wanted only to draw you for the rest of my life. I can only hope that one day you might forgive and that maybe one day you will see what I see in you and its not just because you are beautiful thats not why I fell in love on June 23 2013. Everyday I got to see you for the last year were days that I cherished. I had a catscan in may I was told that more than likely that its a brain tumor it shed a light on the dreams I was having prior to april 4 when I went to the E. R. on life support I almost lost my soul that day. Im not seeking treatment for the tumor. I cannot ever harm you and dont want you to think I would. I cannot make you see or feel what I feel. Again I apologize for everything I did wrong, this message is only for you this is my apology. When Im silent around you its because I cannot talk my emotions overcome me and it is hard not to cry. I just needed to say this before Im gone its better to know why a person is gone to not knowing at all. I wont bother you at work or message you again if you want to talk its up to you all I have left is a bucket list god is whispering my name and Im not going to delay it for to delay it would mean to be empty for years because when I fall in love it lasts forever m.youtube/watch?v=zggSgIT0yd0 P. S. I have always loved you and I always will till my last breath. I cant help how I feel but I can control what I do over 100 days sober Brian
Posted on: Sat, 16 Aug 2014 22:35:25 +0000