++ My Marriage Is In Trouble ++ Our bedroom smelled like the perfume counter at Dillards last night. “What’s that smell?” “It’s a plug-in,” Catherine said. I asked about the specific scent. She said it was balsam. Balsam? I couldn’t help myself I said, “I always wondered what Martin Balsam smelled like. Now I know.” Flatline - Nothing. It’s like she didn’t hear me or never heard of Martin Balsam. Silence is always awkward for me. I explained that Martin Balsam’s character was the second murder in Psycho. “Remember? At the top of the stairs. Nothing. Finally, “Mmmmm, I guess I didn’t know that,” she said. What couldve been a memorable comedic moment in our marriage was lost. I tried to save it. I was compelled to explain that Martin Balsam was a character actor who was once married to Joyce Van Patten (Dicks sister.) He was understated, one of those everywhere, but nowhere actors. Rhythmic, loud breathing - she fell asleep during my Martin Balsam retrospective. How could she fall asleep? I guess our marriage is now on the rocks, shaken & stirred. I will never again make a reference linking a celebrity with a botanical first or last name to a plug-in scent, spray mist, cologne, bathroom cleaner or any household product. Im emphatic. In reference to botanical scents, names like Orlando Bloom, Rose McGowan, Rose Kennedy, Chris Pine, Lili Taylor, Jasmine Guy will never be spoken. Her loss. Im not closing the door on Soupy Sales, Mia Hamm, etc. references in the kitchen. Maybe there is hope.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 16:30:40 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015