My Morning Epiphany. I think I have made peace with something that has been playing on my mind for a while. The last year has been probably my biggest in regards to change-in every sense. New job, house, state, mindset, emotions, challenges…a whirlwind of what ifs and questioning. We decided in December, during my not so happy days to move new year to spring. Meaning-today is our new years eve-and tomorrow is our new year! One of the biggest changes within me, was going from being in a place where I was physically the happiest with myself than I had ever been, to now being where I was before I started that weightloss journey. Up until now, this has really bothered me and got me down, and to an extent it still does. Knowing how much that affects how I feel both physically, but also emotionally and mentally and affects my confidence. But a small light bulb moment…being upset about this now, in some ways gives less meaning to the happy times of the last year-it takes away from the good days, and how much I had stepped out of my comfort zone and tried something new-very new. I have great memories of the last year, have done things I never thought I would and have grown to know every part of my beautiful wifeling and love what we have made together. And I don’t want to have my ‘im a fatty’ sadness creating a shadow over those happy days. So tomorrow is the day. That I haul my chubby arse back to boot camp, that stop finding myself in a drive thru-seriously, I don’t even know how this happens, it is like my car just finds its own way there, and my car door is free of chocolate wrappers. So tomorrow it is. Spring. I have shopped, created and prepared. Me being me will obsess over numbers so only one person will know my (re) starting weight and measurements-and that will not be me. Strangely, I actually am ok with whatever they are, because while I have complete faith that it will hurt and at times be hard, I also have complete faith that I can do it again. I will do it again. I am simplifying spring. Eat healthy. Exercise. Sleep. Love. Grounding.
Posted on: Sun, 31 Aug 2014 06:51:26 +0000
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