My Thorn (Forgive me for the length, it is necessary) My life scripture is: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” 2 Cor.12:9 I’ve prayed that scripture so many times in my 43 year career. The simple fact is: I have never really been qualified to do anything I have done. God saw a way to show his power through weakness. I have ADDRB (Attention Deficit Disorder Really Bad).I have struggled with this my entire life but only in recent years realized the true nature and impact of this weakness. I joke that I used to have ADHD but after I turned 55, I dropped the “H” (Hyperactivity) I just didnt have the energy anymore. I joke a lot about it, but the truth is: this is a very real and very challenging mental disorder. I struggle daily with procrastination, indecision, difficulty recalling and organizing details required for a task, poor time management, losing track of time, avoiding tasks or jobs that require sustained attention. have difficulty initiating tasks, completing and following through on tasks, and shifting attention from one task to another. As I shared in week 22, I have been blessed with some great jobs and unqualified for all of them. I ask God:“Why have you put me in jobs that require what I dont have.” And the bigger question: How have I been able to do this stuff for over four decades with, what many would say, “success?” I prayed “God, I don’t know what I’m doing! Help me through the day. Protect me and give me knowledge and abilities to get through this day! I prayed that prayer every morning, and before every challenge because I knew who I was: insufficient, weak, lacking in knowledge expertise, experience, credentials and all the other things that give people confidence. Confidence in their abilities. I hated my weakness. I worked hard and long hours, yet viewed myself as lazy and incompetent. Compliments surprised me. Praise seemed empty, because most of the time I just barely got it done or “lucked in” to a solution. I always felt I could have done better if I just could have been more focused or had fewer distractions. As I said earlier, only in recent years did God reveal the significance of the weakness. I knew the scripture about the thorn that Paul prayed about and I knew very well my life verse. But for some reason I never really saw them together as one message. I was in a conversation that brought me to a point of sharing my life verse and just so happen to have my Bible open to that page. So I read it. But rather than beginning with the portion I have prayed for so many years I began with: “Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself. Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” It was like I had read it for the first time and for the first time I realized that ADD WAS my thorn. It was a thorn Satan attempted to use to make me give up and to torment me. However, its purpose was to keep me on track, in humility thanking God for helping me get the job done. I realized that the thorn was a gift. It made me who I was, it allowed me to let God make me and use me and be glorified every time I recognized that without Him I could not have made it. And today I ask forgiveness for the times I took the credit and I stood back to gaze on my accomplishment with pride. I also thank Him for allowing me to be on such an amazing journey with Him; I believe with all my heart: A journey just beginning. What is your Thorn? Share your story with me! Todays Starting Point youtu.be/D39x0XdY93E If you get behind all videos will be Here, but please try to do one a day. secondwindresources.org/secondwind-prayer-resources.html
Posted on: Sun, 24 Aug 2014 10:47:21 +0000
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