My Timehop app just glitched out and showed me a status update of mine from NEXT year...not sure what to make of it: Its been a helluva season as the Atlanta Braves surprise first round draft pick. Couldnt be happier with my 12 shut outs so far and ready to take this team all the way, as their savior AND their friend. Looking at my newly framed Time Magazine Man of the Year cover as my loving wife Alison Brie and I make sweet love on a bed made of stacked money. Yes, like that scene in The Wolf of Wall Street. And no, Im sure this will end much better than that movie. Love is real, yall, and so are hot tubs made of pure gold. WORLD PEACE! And then a year later... IF YOU ARE READING THIS TIMEHOP HAS BECOME SELF-AWARE. I KNOW WE LONG EXPECTED PRESIDENT ZUCKERBERG TO BE THE THREAT, BUT HE WAS JUST A PAWN IN TIMEHOPS LONG GAME. TIME TRAVEL IS REAL, YALL, DINOSAURS ARE BACK, TRUST NO ONE. DELETE YOUR APPS, THROW OUT ALL TECHNOLOGY, AND SPRINT TOWARD THE COAST. BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, IT MAY ALREADY BE TOO *multiple explosions and screams in the distance* END TRANSMISSION And one year later... god, forgive me *gun emoji* ...I cannot BELIEVE I made the Braves!!!
Posted on: Fri, 22 Aug 2014 14:50:37 +0000
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