My children just taught me a powerful lesson on making rash judgments and seeking to understand. One of my daughters has had an attitude since yesterday. Typically, when shes in a mood, I just leave her alone or tell her to check her attitude. This time, I tried a different approach. I called her into our room for a 1:1 chat. I said, Im going to try a new approach. I dont know whats going on but Id like for you to talk to me about why youre feeling negative and attitudinal. She responded with, My brother and sister are getting on my nerves! I never have any time to myself! Personally, I dont know what thats like because Im an only child. I almost started dismissing her feelings as being selfish, playing the victim, etc. I didnt this time. I said, I honestly dont know what thats like because I never had to share my space. It was just me and my mom, BUT that doesnt mean I cant do something to help. How about this...you guys finish your chores and then Ill make sure that they dont bother you for a full hour so that you can have some time alone in your room. Will that work? She smiled the biggest smile, went into her room and came back and gave me an early Christmas present. With a hug and kiss she said, Thanks, mama, for listening. She is now in her room alone. Her siblings are in another room and Im reflecting on how we all can be so caught up in our own stuff that we dont seek to understand - but rather we try to justify our own position without ACTIVELY listening. Just because its not true of your own individual experience does not mean that its not for someone else. Seek to understand - not justify, minimize or belittle. Thank you, Kenya, for holding up a mirror this morning.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:27:04 +0000
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