My dearest Anthony, Today is October 29, just an ordinary day for so many people around the world, but for me this date is anything but ordinary. It is your birthday, my son, and today you would have turned 18 . . . you would have become a man, and deep within my spirit I know you would have made us proud. My mommy’s heart has never stopped grieving for you since you left this earth. How I have yearned to hold you again, hug you, kiss you, and tell you how much I love you. Every year since you went to heaven I have longed to do those things that mommies do for their boys . . . plan your birthday party, hide tooth fairy money under your pillow, patch your torn jeans, stuff your Christmas stocking, give you piano lessons and insist that you practice :), and scream wildly at your ball games. I’ve wondered things like: How tall would you have grown? Would you have looked like me (scary thought) since your sister looks so much like her daddy? What sports would you have played? Would you have wanted to be a pilot or ride motorcycles like your daddy? I’ve watched your cousins Kent and Andrew grow into handsome young men; sat at their ball games, celebrated their birthdays, watched them finish high school, begin college or join the army reserves, all the while aching inside and longing from the depths of my soul to have been able to see my own little boy grow into a man. Your little sister has matured into a beautiful young woman, inside and out. She has always been quite the tomboy; I know the two of you would have been the best of friends. I wonder if God ever lets you have a sneak peek into our home and see her in action – whether she’s practicing martial arts, studying feverishly so she can ace yet another test, playing music, or just quietly reading one of her comic books. We have talked about you many times over the years since you’ve been gone – our family so incomplete without you. So many, many tears . . . so many unanswered questions . . . but today, once again, I will find strength and consolation in that blessed, eternal hope that one day we will be reunited, never to be separated again, and God Himself has promised that He will wipe away all of my tears. And so, until that beautiful day dawns, your mommy will continue to miss you, and love you, and carry the sweet memory of you deep within my heart. I love you, my son . . . and Happy Birthday. I know Jesus will make your day a special one. Mommy
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 10:49:50 +0000
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