My entire life Ive been raised in the church. My church. I have heard glorious sermons there, I know countless hymns and church songs. I have 4 or 5 versions of the bible in my home. I have grown reading my bible. I have done countess Beth Moore studies on my own. I have taken it all in...I am a beefed up Christian. In theses past 9 months that I have pulled away from church. I have studied at home and grew in countless other ways. I have held myself accountable for my choice to step back and I have learned something about myself. Something I am not quiet proud of in this absence. I was full of faith but I was not obedient. Our churches have everything these days, kids programs, so many worship styles, media events, but something is lacking in them all. I think it is obedience. Just like myself. Ive read my bible my entire life. I have stayed away form big sins and wore my Christian smile and attitude. But often when I was asked to serve or say yes to God, I would answer to myself let me pray about it. I have gotten fat on all the Good News. Ive hoarded it all to myself and have not shared it. I am fed up with the diet of the American Dream. I have decided to do what God tells me. I will start saying yes every time. Even when it is small, even when I dont know what to do next, even when I myself is inadequate and no one wants to help me. I have realized the results do not matter, the success or failure - its all that I am being obedient. I miss my church. I look forward to going back. The truth is though we were never just meant to just go to church. There are people all over this world dying for this faith. People are held captive in sin and poverty, waiting for some Good News, a glimmer of hope. I feel like in church sometimes we draw a line and we say We are Good, We are right. And in some cases we are done. When doing that we are also saying to those outside You are bad. You are wrong. you dont matter. Not intentially but I have realized this while in my churches absence. We have to start realizing we are called to be the church!!! We need to enter the hospitals for hurting people, not just with cancer but mental illness., not a club where we are comfortable. I am called to filthy jails and have allowed myself to be afraid and turn away. I am called to travel this world with Operation Smile. This plane missing has instilled fear in me but NO!!! I AM NOT GOING TO BE AFRAID!!! I have learned just by not turning away from the people with homeless signs and handing them what I have that..When I walk in obedience, it is risky and it is scary as hell!!!. It can and will continue to be the wildest thing I will ever do. It seems to finally be a journey I am embarking on with God. I am giving it up and will do whatever he tells me to do. I feel more alive with each step, each plan. This is Christianity. This is faith in action. James chapter 2 is our inspiration. Obedience is the key friends. Its what can transform us all, a church, a person, ect from a meeting place, a set aside time for study and or prayer (for myself) to a moving body with moving parts so we can together reach a broken world. So I thank my church and my Bible for all it has taught me but today I am pushing myself from the table without fear. I am saying I am full. I have enough, my children have enough, it is time to share...without fear!!! I will make my home a hospital if I must! I will plan to hold my head high and enter that jail. I will hop on that plane to wherever Operation Smile may lead me and I will serve others how I can. I will finally live my life with obedience. I will return to my church for fuel, wisdom and love without caring if I step on a toe! I am tired of living in fear! I will be obedient no matter how small or lg!! I will not live in fear!!!
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 11:57:53 +0000
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