My grandmother turned 87 yesterday. Shes the kindest and most - TopicsExpress

My grandmother turned 87 yesterday. Shes the kindest and most selfless person I know. Things she has called me (1) louse (2) a wreck (3) buffoon (4) pauper (5) fool (6) stooge (7) crumb (8) clown (9) ignoramus (10) completely useless and without thought Things she has told me to do (1) jump in a lake (2) shit in my hat (3) take a long walk of a short pier (4) read a book (5) lose that stomach Referring to my tour guide job while on the phone with a friend Hes some type of carnival barker On my beliefs Theres nothing worse than a poor Republican On President Bush Hes not an intellectual. He incurious. He doesnt want to learn anything. When I grew up we called that dumb On guns Guns are for fake men On Reagan the actor On her level of education vs mine I have a masters degree from NYU. Youre an idiot On drinking I probably drink too much but Im not stopping. Dont forget the Dewars and dont give me they only had the small bottle shit.

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