My heart cries real tears this day. God has been dealing with me - TopicsExpress

My heart cries real tears this day. God has been dealing with me for some time now.this might sound silly or even crazy and keep it real I just dont give a damn how it sounds to you!!!!!!!.When I love people I go beyond words,when I care about you I will risk it all. so when I say BROTHER or SISTER that is exactly what i mean!!! And when they hurt or endure true pain,A huge piece of me feels that pain. God has for some reason put that gift in my life.. I am sad for a friend who has passed,the daughter that is left without a mommy.. a man who i can see is scared of making a mistake in raising his little girl,A friend that loved his friend deeply and lost a part of himself today at 5:45pm but pretends he is OK... I will cry for you because this what brothers do..... I havent cried in years,but ever sense my mother called me after she left the doc... I cry every morning for hrs in my basement all alone.. and today my heart and soul cry OUT TO GOD for the loss of a good woman who was in unspeakable pain but held on for the love of a beautiful little girl. Those that had to watch her slowly die and keep the face of hope on.In all this a couple hrs after she past Eric said to me how is your mom dont loose faith or give up,your a good man and you will do the right things to better who you are..... and she will be o.k. This pain I feel Is unbearable and the crazy part is no matter how many friends you have,you still will go threw it alone. I NEED YOU GOD TO FORGIVE ME!!!!! I dont give a damn if you think im weak or soft..... but I NEED GOD!!!!!!!! and so do you!!!!!! my pride is and has been out the door... Michelle you will forever be missed my friend. you and Eric have showed me to stop being so angry with rage about my mom. there is peace I must discover,Prayer i must utilize,hope i have to embrace and learn to be a child again. I am a empty canvas Lord please do what you will for me to do... I am not cool,I am an idiot and for that I am truly sorry, its your plan the big picture not my plan the arrogant way of thought...I LOVE YOU MOM.I LOVE YOU CHRISTY for never leaving my side and putting up with a nobody like me... And most of all I LOVE YOU WORD OF GOD!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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