My number is 7, so here are some things most people dont know about me.... 1. I am currently in the witness relocation program and anything posted here referring to my life prior to 2007 is a total fabrication. 2. I am no longer working for the NSA; however, as a consultant, they do check in with me from time to time and no, I dont tell them anything about you. 3. It is NOT true that I was unable to operate the toilet while on my Shuttle flight to the international space station. That is just a vicious rumor started by a jealous crew mate who got bumped from the flight. 4. The reason I tell people Im not related to Elvis is because of a petty squabble at a family reunion that was never properly resolved and for the record, it was not really my fault, no matter what you have heard. 5. Thanks to my marksmanship skills, I was able to confirm the lone gunman theory of the Kennedy assassination in a historic reenactment in 2003, although critics complain that my failure to wound the John Connally actor invalidates my demonstration. 6. I had to release my captive specimen of Bigfoot two days after I trapped him because activists were threatening to have me prosecuted for violation of the Endangered Species Act. 7. All of my New York Times best sellers have been published as ghost written novels under the names of famous authors, and no, just like the critics, Im not really pleased with the John Grisham book I wrote, but I was under a tight deadline, so what can I say?
Posted on: Sat, 23 Nov 2013 11:46:34 +0000
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