NOOOOO! That was the first word that came to mind when I read that Robin Williams took his life. As I read farther and found he battled depression, I couldnt help but wince in sorrow. For you see, I too battle depression. I never thought it could happen to me. My life had been going so well: great job, good health, and determination to be the best I could possibly be. However, by the end of last year, it had all come to an end. At first I thought I would be strong enough to contend with my setbacks, but as soon as I found conflict within myself, it became a losing battle. I found myself bitter, frustrated, hurt, lethargic, and numb (to name a few). I started isolating myself and the determination I once had was crushed by the feelings of hopelessness, doubt, and sorrow. I would snap and get angry over trivial things and would argue with those closest to me. Something had to change. Several months of fighting this, I finally sought council from my church leader (whom I trusted) and he introduced me to an amazing counselor. I learned that what I was going through was depression and I could be helped! What a humbling bitter sweet relief it was to know I have something so destructive but that I can work on managing it and be restored to where I was. Although Im not out of the woods yet, I can see the clearing! Its hard crawling out of this dark hole, and feels impossible trying to explain myself as to why I have pushed people away. But please know Im sorry - this isnt me and Im doing the best I can. I share this because some of us are fighting an internal battle so great that at times there feels no way of winning. For those of you who think you might need help, there is absolutely no shame in seeking it. Since everyone likes list, heres another! buzzfeed/alexisnedd/things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-depressed?bffb&s=mobile
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:25:25 +0000
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