News appears to be breaking that the new digital social welfare cards belonging to the under 25′s are to be programmed with an alarm device that will automatically be activated at 7am with the voice of Joan Burton saying “It’s time to get up ye idle git”. Sources close to the Department of Social and Family affairs have confirmed that the cards have no Snooze button and that Bruton will personally harangue the idle under 25′s until they are down at the breakfast table, lining their welfare bags and preparing to spend the day as worthy “Job Seekers”. Cameras are to be installed in all the homes of the idle under 25 to ensure absolute compliance. Tampering with the cameras will result in immediate imprisonment. Richard Bruton has spoken enthusiastically about the initiative…saying….”As politicians, we want to speak directly to the youth and the fact that my colleague Joan Burton will do so via the new talking cards, which work very effectively in Pyongyang, is proof that we do care at an extremely personal level”. Ms Burton spoke positively about the many jobs that will be created by the camera installation programme and how it will be a show case for Ireland’s audio visual sector and that many young people will actually enjoy the feeling of being in reality show….laughing, she added, “They might even call it “I’m idle get me out of here”. The first cameras are due to be installed next week
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 10:10:18 +0000
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