Not for nothing, but when I received this blast email from Judith Maidenbaum, I wondered why anyone would bother to eat at her restaurant if this is the way she conducts business: The Wild Boars of Bethel have made the newspaper several times; Most of us have no idea what a wild boar is. Nor what to do if by chance one comes waltzing up the garden path. I happen to have been visiting a tiny Greek village several years ago, the day some townies had butchered a Wild Boar right in the town square. Blood was everywhere and a local restaurant was serving that very boar that very evening and everyone was salivating. Except me. They scrubbed off the gore and my companions dined heartily while I looked on and explained that Boar was the theriomorphic form of the goddess of love, and should not be eaten. The Florentines, I reminded them, placed a Boar in the middle of their city Market because Florence is The City of Love. Of course, I was accused of making that up because my roots were stuck tight in a kosher past. But you can’t make most stuff up. Here in Bethel we are not butchering Boars in the No Parking Zones in Kauneonga Lake. And don’t expect to find Boar on the Fat Lady menu any time soon. But for those of you who are curious about the Boar problem: One of our bakers figured out how to deal with them quite humanely. She searched one of the Lake Communities in Bethel, took one of their boars home, put a frilly apron on her and has her serving cookies and coffee right up front as if she were just as human as you or me. What brilliance. She even duct taped up a green vehicle powered only by Boar gas so the Boar could deliver bread. What kindness to the poor dumb beast. People do come in to The Fat Lady and ask, “Who is that?” When faced with a blathering farting boar oinking and oinking, snorting insults at everyone, dumping in public and need I go on? But I just act nonchalant and reply, “Don’t you recognize a Boar when you see one?” So if you come across the Kauneonga Boar, pet her, kiss her, give her love. The Goddess Aphrodite lies deep inside that frightful mass. And she’s only here until September 15th, when she will be taken out of captivity and set free at the airport. Au Revoir. Au Revoir. Lik
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 01:15:03 +0000
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