OMG. Our newest team leader just ran into our room to tell me that preliminary results of Ellies biopsy indicate it IS NOT LYMPHOMA. We do not have a diagnosis, although we know it is a very rare autoimmune disease. And we know it isnt lymphoma. Thank god. Hearing that word on Friday and every moment since has been the worst experience of my life. I spent most of this morning dry heaving and trying not to cry in front of Ellie. She had no idea. She knows now and hasnt stopped hugging me. She said, Poor you Mummy. No wonder you look so tired. I was in no way my best self this weekend. She still has a long and uneasy path ahead of her. But hearing it isnt cancer makes everything else seem so do-able. My mind went straight to the other families in this building whose news is not so good. We are still very concerned about Ellie and it is incredibly heart wrenching to watch her body deteriorate and actually disappear before our eyes. But hearing cancer blindsided me. This poor child has suffered enough and hasnt complained a bit. Type 1 Diabetes is bad enough. Like, seriously universe. Enough. I know so many of you have been sending prayers and good will our way. Thank you so much. We are not out of here anytime soon, so please keep them coming.
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:38:12 +0000
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