OPENING UP PROUDCED TEARS AND DOUBT: As I kept having visions, I was so frighten to tell anybody. I hadn’t even revealed it to my mom yet. Then again, my mom and I were close. I could tell her anything, and she still loved me. I finally told my mom, and as a result, she would visit over hot chocolate to hear my visions with excitement in her eyes because she had a heart for Jesus. So, I figured maybe I could tell someone else. I went to church and spoke to a lady there about my visions. Honestly, I didn’t know how she would have reacted, but if I knew before hand, I would have never told her at all. She told me that I needed to watch out…that I need to be careful. She said, no one sees God...and if they did they would drop dead. Then she said that my visions could probably be from the devil himself. I just sat and listened to what she said. I felt so sad and worried. After talking to this particular lady, I went home and cried. I felt so let down, hurt, and betrayed. I went to my knees and cried saying: “I don’t want these visions anymore. Whether it’s from you, anybody else, or anything else, please do not let me see these visions anymore. How do I know if they are from you...and if they are from you…why have them, if no one believes me? Should I just keep them to myself? No…no…no…I don’t want these visions anymore.” Jaime asked what was wrong, but how could I explain something to him, if I hadn’t ever told him anything? How could I tell him how crazy I was? I made up some lame excuse at first, but after awhile, I told him I had visions (without going into details) and that I decided to share them with someone at church, but their reaction totally made me doubt everything I have seen. He tried to comfort me, but that night I just cried myself to sleep. A couple days passed, without me saying any prayers. I was so miserable. Finally, when I went to church, I finally decided to pray, and he showed up. Instead of standing calmly in front of me, he stood in front of me and quickly grabbed my face with both his hands gently. He said, “Martha, do you see me? I looked at him, and I said, “Yes.” He pulled my face closer to his very softly, and said again, “Martha, do you see me?” I replied, “Yes, I see you.” He said, “I want you to see me.” He did this several times, over and over again. He would bring my face closer and closer to his; he was starting to freak me out. Then I said the most ridiculous thing I could have ever said to Jesus, as he put his face close to my face for the last time. I said, “You have the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen.” He and I started laughing out loud together. Finally, he put his forehead on mine, touched both my cheeks with his hands, and said softly, “I WANT YOU TO SEE ME. YOU ARE MINE, I AM YOURS, WE ARE ONE.”
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 17:14:49 +0000
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