Obuma Township Flower Shop Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to Obama Flowers. My name is Shalika. How can I help you? Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my long standing flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number. Receptionist: Yes! I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November, maybe December, or maybe January. But I can help you. Customer: Thanks, I ordered a Spring Bouquet for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife. Receptionist: Interrupting, Sir, Spring Bouquets do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses. Customer: But I have always ordered Spring Bouquets, for 30 years, my wife likes them. Red does not go well with our décor and needs. Receptionist: Red Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them. Customer: Well, how much are they? Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package. Customer: Whats the difference? Receptionist: 12, 18, 24 or 48 Red Roses. Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it? Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income? Customer: What does that have to do with anything? Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department. Customer: FlowerAid? Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you cant afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge. Customer: Who said they were a right? Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional. Customer: Whoa! I dont remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right. Receptionist: It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but Obama Flowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a Tax. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right. Customer: I dont believe this. Receptionist: Its the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir? Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year. Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income. Customer: Why? Receptionist: To determine what your non-participation cost would be. Customer: WHAT? You cant charge me for NOT buying flowers! Receptionist: Its the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. Its $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income. Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous; Ill pay the $9.50. Receptionist: Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater. Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off! Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%. Customer: Look, Im going to call my Congressman to find out whats going on here. This is ridiculous. Im not going to pay it. Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. Thats why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using. Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING? Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates sir. Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir. They will ‘splain it to you and make the penalty deductions from your next income tax filing. If you are an illegal or have a waiver then explain it to the IRS in the audit. Thanks for calling Obama Flowers. Please stay on the phone for a brief recorded message from Pres. Obuma from a Hawaiian golf course. For English press 73952##297867. Dr.on Obumacare: youtube/watch?v=mZbFrAAV3-o&feature=youtu.be Thanks Phil! lol
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 20:20:07 +0000
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