Offt dont hate the game... Hate the game :) bahaha. Heres a widdle - TopicsExpress



          

Offt dont hate the game... Hate the game :) bahaha. Heres a widdle something something from one of our fans. Fangiu for sharing it with our dying Beavers haha Enchoy! #Jahr Forgiveness. Throughout my teen years I never struggled with relationships. I was confident with myself and who I was and what I stood for. That all changed when I fell in love with my best friend. He was always there for me when I was having problems with my boyfriend at the time. Always comforted me with encouraging thoughts and offered different approaches on how to deal with whatever I was going through. I was the same for him. I absolutely adored his passion for love. It was an admirable trait that I loved most about him. He was caring yet never one to be negative, he could mock you like crazy but then again I wasnt the type of girl who would just laugh. No, you definitely heard my guns and roses of witty come-backs. Our two year friendship soon turned into an on and off five year relationship. Four of those years long distance. Our love soon turned into hate as the physical boundaries being so far apart deemed to much for either of us to handle. Surprisingly more so for him. I tried to portray and give as much love and affection but as soon as the Tasman sea separated us, so did our physical connection. Yes, emotionally we were always connected but there is only so much love your voice and words can be conveyed. Our last effort to make it work seemed to take us back to our fist kiss at a park near my school. Holding hands while walking to the bus stop. We once again remembered why and how we first fell in love. The dreams we planned together, I dreamed of fulfilling my dream of working with kids, he dreamed of being a father. A loving, proud husband of mine. Somewhere along the lines fate decided it was not meant to be. After a very bitter break up, my heart shattered into pieces. Within days he had moved on. I questioned everything I stood for. I felt ugly, worthless, useless. Everything but negative thoughts clouded my whole being. The next year proved to be the hardest. I hit rock bottom and turned into the opposite of everything I was. From confident to desperate. Desperate for love, attention, someone to love me for me. I despised the thought of forgiveness. He did not deserve it! He broke my heart with some ugly heffa who he now calls BABE! *sigh* that used to be my title. He was my boo, I was his world. Was I not good enough? Did I not provide enough? Did I not love you enough? Was I not skinny enough? It took a handful of drunk az, dumb az, stupid az, broke az, good for nothing az ****. For me to realise I was still stuck in a pit of unforgiveness. Recently, I thought of my beloved best friend. I found out he was now a proud father of a adorable little baby. I thought I would be hurt. I admit It did cross my mind. But, ultimately. I was happy for him. Slightly proud to be honest. He was living his dream as I was on the path to following mine. I bowed my head in shame as I prayed for forgiveness. I realise now why God put me through what I experienced. For If we had stayed together we would have poisoned each other. I thank God I have come to my senses. This is to you my best friend. I forgive you. The love we shared I will always cherish above all the heartache and trials we faced for without those dark times I would have come to find the light that is Jesus Christ. God Is GOOD!
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 11:45:34 +0000

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