Oh Amazon, how I hate you. With the fire of a thousand suns I loathe your ridiculous search engine, your hideous, sprawling site design, your navigation layout apparently designed by a primate with impulse control issues. Most particularly, I despise the way you will tell me a seller does international shipping, let me browse and price-check and agonisingly build up a list of Christmas presents over several hours, demand every intimate detail of my life from the name of my first childhood pet to the colour of my letterbox, and then tell me at the end of a fourteen-step checkout process that the seller doesnt actually deliver to Nairobi. Let me be clear: you are scum. You are vile. You are a putrescent excrescence worthy of a Mason jar in the Hunterian. You are a festering boil on the sole of humanitys foot. You are the Jar-Jar Binks of the internet. You are a bloated behemoth, swollen with gaseous incompetence and reeking of the feculence of your category system. Had I leet hacker skills I would wipe the smug smile off your logo with a cyber-ebola virus and take grim pleasure in the doing. Had I a tray, I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed on the canteen floor. Had I the heavens embroidered cloths, I would wind them round your neck and squeeze mightily. Had you a modicum of shame, you would buy one of your own poorly-constructed Japanese showoff katanas and commit a very, very slow seppuku while your customers shed tears of joy. But youd probably get nineteen-twentieths of the way through the ordering process and find it was out of stock. Merry Christmas from Ezsacco
Posted on: Sat, 14 Dec 2013 08:12:18 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015