Ok my wobbly brothers & sisters. Venting time. This is when I need this page the most, cuz yall are the only ones who get it. Consider this a novella, in case it gets too long. Lol Slept almost 10hours last nite cuz Lili & I were exhausted by 9pm. This morn--good. Took meds, got Lili off to school (Erik did a lot once he got home from work this morn, as usual [[side note: our significant others are affected SO MUCH by MD, & I REALLY HATE THAT!!!!]] ). Waited til I knew I was ok to drive & took off. Target & Albertsons. In Target was fine( except for feeling like I have a tattoo on my forehead that says Menieres Disease, w/ an arrow pointing to my face, ya know? Like everyone can tell. Lol). In Albertsons, started to feel off, but had my list, did my eye movement physical therapy, continued on, & finished shopping(didnt run into anything, but felt all kinda off when I spoke to people; I cant stop that cuz Im too friendly. If I hear a sneeze, but dont see the person, I just shout outBless you! Or rush over to pick up a dropped item for an elderly person. I cant turn that part of me off). So I make it to the car(groceries in trunk). & start to drive home. I know whats next, but try to maintain, & I do. Till about 1 1/2 miles from my house. KABLAMM!! Like a ghost passing thru me, the MD monster is just there. Not drop attack, just, Whoa holy shit. I pull onto the shoulder & shove a val in my mouth……& wait. For 20 min I am spinning in ALL directions(took nausea pill b4 I left home, thank God). Starts to slow,as Im praying a cop doesnt pass by). Wait a lil longer & drive home(probably more carefully than the normals). Get groceries inside(not b4 trunk smashes into my head. Yea!! Rite where my issues are. Another goose egg). & then I break down crying. Like my body has to release the stress of focusing on being well. I am not a cryer. I hate crying. & now Im shot for the rest of the day. Erik will have to drop Lili off @ a slumber party on his way to work. Cuz This MOM cant drive again. In and out of episode since arriving home. Scared to eat b/c……well u know!! Oh I am so tired of dealing w/ this. So so so so tired. This is why I hate to make plans to visit w/ my peeps!!!! So afraid it will happen in front of people I love (I havent seen my friends or family in Baton Rouge, La & south there of, in 20 yr. I feel like I would die of embarrassment if they saw). Hell,I had an episode in my Primary Care Phys. office & she about freaked, cuz she never witnessed it b4. Okie doke. The venting has ended. Feel free to delete this dribble from your page. Thx for putting up w/ my vent. Love to all. Over.
Posted on: Fri, 14 Mar 2014 21:20:20 +0000
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