Okay late night post... or perhaps very early morning post. Ive been suffering insomnia for awhile now. If I dont take something to help me sleep I will be up till 6 am till Im so sleepy I just crash and burn. Well I was happy because about three hours ago at midnight, I was actually tired for once so I was happy to just go to bed. Well, another thing Ive been struggling with is reoccurring bouts of sleep paralysis. And If you have ever had this, you know its scary... I just woke up feeling like I went through something from my childhood. I havent had a night terror since I was like 13... I have had bad dreams since then... but this... I cant even try to go back to sleep now. Im not completely sure what I just experienced. Now I feel sick to my stomach and scared. Theres no one to talk to at this time so Im posting it to get it off my chest. I feel like it may have been another episode of sleep paralysis but with a hallucination Ive never had. I had only been asleep like two hours but It felt like the next day. And I started having some kind of bad dream about some strange women in group scolding and yelling at me for something but beginning to become very aggressive about it. So in the dream, Im just backing away from them and Im thankful to then wake up and I roll over and face the wall, almost symbolically like Im turning my back against them bc it kind of feels like Im still dreaming and I dont know why. But I instantly fall into another dream and the whole aggressive scenario is now happening to another terrified girl my age and Im witnessing it as a third party. And I step in and yell out saying Hey, you cant do that! And one of them turns and looks at me with the most disgusted face and retorts something along the lines of Thats what you think.....! Suddenly I feel that Im out of the dream as I can feel my bed and blankets and all that but as terrible as it sounds to word it like this, I have a burning sensation that she Is standing behind me. But before I can rationalize/think clearly or wake up all the way... It feels like something heavy just lands on me while Im still on my side facing the wall. I felt like I had screamed but apparently I didnt and I cant move like Im frozen in fear. At first I think its my dog, but then I realize its too big to be my dog. It felt like the dead weight of person just collapsed on top of me and I just want to start screaming. The next thing I know I dont feel it anymore... almost like the weight slowly lifted off of me. And I dont know how long I laid here frozen in fear for how real this felt but I then have the courage to roll over and turn on the light and obviously theres nothing in my room besides a creepy feeling. That was the worst night terror or whatever It was that I have ever had... I really dont want to have another one like that, like my repeated paralysis. Im finally am able to go to bed at a descent time and this happens... I just feel so sick to my stomach right now. Sorry if this post creeped anyone out... not my intentions... I just need to feel like Im getting this all out.
Posted on: Sat, 28 Jun 2014 07:36:41 +0000
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