Okay, so it’s Friday afternoon, spring has sprung, you’ve - TopicsExpress

Okay, so it’s Friday afternoon, spring has sprung, you’ve dotted the last “i”, crossed the last “t”, glanced at the clock for the final time, played the last game of solitaire (surreptitiously, I presume), and worked out the first two items to be selected to quench your ever increasing thirst. So, head on out, what in the hell is keeping you? You’ve got a busy weekend ahead of you. It’s that time of the year. Pull out the blender and make sure it is in proper condition so when frozen drink time comes peeking around the corner (all tan, oiled up, and looking quite fetching in that little swim number cut just so) you’ll be all set. Wiped clean from the last daiquiri of the season – check. Top fits snugly (to prevent last year’s pool party kitchen Jackson Pollock fiasco. You know bartending is better left to you and not your crazy neighbor, even he did offer to help.)-check. Fancy buttons and dials working-check. Blender sorted. Next, make sure any pre-mixes (assuming you use these, and not fresh from the produce section, hand squeezed by you. Why, almost artisan.) are well stocked in your freezer. Mixes sorted. What else is on the list? Switch out your wardrobe, out with the wool, flannel, corduroy, and fleece and in with the linen, silk, and light cotton. Closet sorted. Hell, that ought to do it for the weekend. A short list, easily accomplished is the very best kind. Oh, one more thing, go check Google Earth, ponder a bit, and then come up with your own insane idea where that damn plane disappeared to. Plane not sorted. Tonight, offer a toast to the heavens for all those lost souls who have become part and parcel to this mystery. A toast requires cocktails, so you need them, and pronto. Get to your bar (on the way, after giving your squeeze a smootch, get their order) and make them – doubles, with the good booze and the good crystal. Clink that crystal (by the way, isn’t that just about the coolest sound? ), offer the proper toasts, a nod to the angels, a sip, and the night is on its way down that slippery slope. Some appropriate tunes, the proper volume, and little shimmy here, a little casual saunter there, and the evening is looking ever better. Put something on the grill, another drink, a light salad, another drink, the good silver on the table, another drink, and wink suggesting dessert, and another drink. Friday night has been achieved. Going out? Well here’s the drill: a freshie, hell another; head to your closet for the proper attire; scootch on over to your squeeze for a smootch and offer a compliment; check the mirror one more time; pour the roadies; get the fresh bills; decide on the proper drive tuneage; smootch at the stoplights; use the valet; enter like a boss; firm handshakes and polite kisses; survey the room; order like you know what you are doing; try something new; tell fantastic stories; wink at a stranger; tip well; drive safe; smootch at the stoplight (maybe unbutton that top button while you are at it); chicken fingers with ranch at the drive-thru; a nightcap; and that’ll do you just fine until tomorrow evening. Oh, and use those coasters ‘cause they’re always in season. Until next week.