Old habits sometimes dont completely go away... An old friend of mine and Mary Allens rode in my cab several times tonight. Such an event I would text her afterwards, knowing that it would make for enjoyable conversation when I would come home in the morning. Without thinking, I began to do just that. Then I noticed the last texts in the thread. A couple suggestions of what to do over the next year, and the last one, her trademark where you at? type inquiry. Reality Check! I guess in time this will get easier. Not a day goes by I dont think of her. Okay, I admit, not even an hour does! Often shes a subject of conversation, occasionally even with strangers, and even during those rare times when I speak at any length with my ex wife! There are songs on my MP3 player that just grab me and almost throw me into some moment from years past (ones by Macy Gray, Luke Bryan, Blake Shelton, and even a few she really liked by Frank Zappa, not to mention at least a dozen others) and theres quite a few that Ive learned, the hard way, to put in the stay the hell away from ... files at Karaoke night. Even my little prospecting trip brought her to mind. She enjoyed going out on our little expeditions, and she would have really appreciated the garnet I found. Not only is that rock colorful and rich in amazing mineral crystals, the garnet is precious gem quality and could be cut into a jewel worth about $250. I know she would have liked that! Not really sure if it gets easier I dont think it does. It reminds me so much about what the soldiers tell me about Iraq and Afghanistan ...you dont really get over the fear, just get used to being scared. I havent got over this huge hole left in my life, I just got more accustomed to it being there. So as I go about doing what I do, I found its best to conclude that it isnt, and shouldnt, get any easier,and instead focus on making myself more able to. In general Ive been marginally successful at that, but every now and then,there are moments that remind me that I have a long way to go...
Posted on: Sun, 14 Sep 2014 14:29:40 +0000
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