On Ray Rice and Domestic Violence: I feel compelled to comment on this after seeing the disgusting video of Ray Rice clobbering his wife like a boxer. Let me first say that I think the NFL is beyond hypocritical for waiting until the video came out to take actual disciplinary action. I mean what did they think he did in that elevator? Secondly, nothing horrified me more when I served as Imam than the amount of brutal domestic violence I was made aware of in the community. I was shocked that many of the perpetrators were actually highly successful, educated, and “religious” men. And unfortunately far too often the community turns a blind eye to it. In fact, the family of the abused woman often tells her to stay in that abusive situation and blames her for upsetting her husband. This, more than anything else, upsets me most. When Ray Rice’s wife “apologized” for her role in the incident, I reflected on all the times sisters called me and blamed themselves for making their husbands mad. And that usually was directly a result of other people shaming them and making them feel like they were to blame. Far too often sisters will ask for duas to remain patient while being beaten, sometimes even in front of their kids. But few will actually take steps to remove themselves from an abusive situation. Do I blame them? No. I blame the community that treats women like this like selfish home wreckers when they choose to leave their abusive husbands because they supposedly “broke up the family”. I blame the coward that had the audacity to raise his hand on a woman that Allah ordered him to honor. I blame the backwards cultures that treat divorcees like lepers because they’ve “already been with a man”. I hope and pray that as a community we can educate young men (and sometimes women) on the impermissible vile nature of abusing one’s spouse. I also pray that we can empower our sisters that are in those situations rather than shame them. And finally, I pray that we can establish effective support systems for sisters who choose to protect themselves and their families by moving on from abusive relationships. May Allah protect our families and communities from this ugly practice. Ameen A short video I did a few years ago on abusive relationships: https://youtube/watch?v=SwKP9Rk--7E via Omar Suleiman
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 20:36:45 +0000
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