On a coaching call today, one short interaction with my client reminded me of how important it is to see from an outsiders perspective how we operate in the world. It was a valuable insight and a good reminder, so I wanted to share it with you... The topic my client and I were dealing with was emotional triggering. What do we do when something (the trigger) happens and we react with anger, mistrust, resistance, or frustration? His friends had pulled a prank on him. He reacted strongly, felt those common negative emotions of frustration, aggression and anger... But it didnt stop there. He let himself go down the dark spiral of negative thoughts all day and couldnt pinpoint why...even though it was just a little prank and no big deal. Turns out, we uncovered that the prank triggered deeper feelings of mistrust -- mistrust of himself and mistrust of humanity as a whole. It wasnt just that his friends had acted in a minor form of betrayal. His thoughts and feelings reacted within the negative paradigm of how he viewed the world... He asked me what I would have done to get out of that negative downward spiral, or what I do to let go of frustration and anger. I thought for a second to a short triggering experience that had happened just this morning. I felt physically objectified by something a friend had said, and that wave of frustration and anger welled up in my chest. But, as I told my client, I let the frustration be. I still felt it, there in my chest, but I switched my focus up to my brain and started thinking... Why is he saying this? What does he really mean? If I were him, would I have probably said something similar? And then -- this was the key -- I GAVE him the benefit of the doubt. And I let it go. I trusted that his intentions were good. I CHOSE to trust, instead of mistrust. And in just a few seconds, the frustration was gone and I went about the rest of my day with my usual amount of good energy. TL;DR - Trusting & giving the benefit of the doubt > energy-sucking frustration and mistrust of humanity. Your paradigm for how you view and interact with the world is a choice. Enjoy your freedom to choose :)
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 02:14:51 +0000
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