Once again, welcome back to Sunday Bible school (somehow edited, hehe) The man, the fish, and the impossible This is the story of Jonah as it is found in his book (where his is obviously a big stretch). Jonah is sent by god to preach for conversion among the inhabitants of Nineveh (Nineveh was an ancient Assyrian city on the eastern bank of the Tigris River, and capital of the Neo-Assyrian Empire. Wikipedia). Why them? we might ask, but the question never gets answered. The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. (Jonah 1:1-3) Infuriated by Jonahs disobedience, god sent a huge storm to teach him a lesson. The sailors once found the guilty guy, decided to kill him in order to placate this angry god: Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried out to the Lord, “Please, Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.” Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. (1:13-15) But gods plans were all well-laid for Jonah, saving him with a big fish: Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. (1:17) From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help... (2:1-2) Yes, from the inside of the fish, Jonah was able to make a good, long, and poetic prayer (that fills chapter 2 of his book) so god kept him alive and well (no further details on how, of course). Not known fish could swallow an entire man unharmed, let alone live inside his stomach for three days and three nights.... but oh wonders! God can make the miracle, right? Eventually, Jonah is vomited back to shore and ready to continue his mission: And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.” The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. (2:10 to 3:1-5) So, Jonah preached and the people converted. A massive conversion no historic account ever recorded, but who needs history, right? The bible says it, it must be true. God announced that in forty days the city would be destroyed unless they repented. He would kill them all, men, women, children, and animals. Jonah preached and people converted, but Jonah loved gods destructive force. He left the city and sat waiting to see the great spectacle. But to his disappointment, nothing happened. Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. (4:5) Of course, noting happened because the good god was merciful (this time) and forgave the lives of the converted people. Nineveh, a city with a completely different religion, gods, and ideas from the Hebrews faith was expected to act like god wanted it, and demanded conversion or else. The New Testament firmly believes this really happened, and Jonah became a prophetic announcement of Jesus himself (who is believed to have been buried for three days and three nights). For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. Matthew 12:40 This being said by Jesus himself..... Fundamentalists and conservatives have no choice but to believe in this impossible tale since Jesus seemed so sure about it and took it for a fact. And when this happens, when something so ridiculous is exposed, I love how believers feel the embarrassment.... Sorry, but true. Note: Muslims also copied this story including it in the Quran, obviously a plagiarism. And remember , no matter how illogical and impossible things might look like, god still loves you :D Dan
Posted on: Sun, 27 Oct 2013 15:31:06 +0000
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